Help getting out of a rut
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Help getting out of a rut
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:09am |
Ever since we hooked up this past weekend, I can't stop calling and texting him, trying to find answers and just keeping a connection between some way. He has told me to leave him alone and that he does not want me anymore and that I've pushed him too far away for him to ever come back. I keep asking about him dating someone new and questions that he has no answer for and telling him how hurt I am over what he did to me to which is responds with, "I don't care."
He thinks that I am crazy because I can't seem to move on. He wants nothing to do with me even though he was the one who made our relationship crap.
Please help me stop! And is there ever going to be a day when he will care again?

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You are absolutely right. We tend to go back to the people who hurt us the most, because we care about them the most. If we didn't care about them a lot... we wouldn't have been so hurt by their actions. But even though we do care about them a lot, doesn't mean they care about us in the same way. It doesn't mean they want to be with us as much as we want to be with them. They may or may not contact you. They may or may not be your friend in the future. But does it really matter? We have to focus on ourselves now and get our lives back on track. How does it help if we continue to call them and text them? It doesn't make anything better... Generally it makes us feel worse because they don't return the affection. A good friend of mine told me two things that I keep in mind through the whole thing.
1) Let them go, if they come back to you then they are yours. If they don't then it was never meant to be.
I am leaving it all up to God right now and that seems to be helping me a lot. WHen i feel any sort of temptation, I pray. It has helped me come a very long way.
2) Usually a break-up is mutual, but it just takes one person longer to realize that then the other person. One person breaks it off with the other. At first, the other person is hurt and distraught. Then they slowly begin to realize why it wasn't right and how wrong it was. It might take months or years for that person to get to that point, but they eventually do.
I am starting to realize that this is the case. It wasn't right. No matter how much I miss him or long for him... I still don't want to be with him. He treated me horribly. So i continue to think about that whenever i start to miss him or want to contact him. It's better that I don't, because it won't achieve anything. It will only set me back. LOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST!
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