help, how can i kill all the hope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
help, how can i kill all the hope?
1
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 6:02am
hi,

it's been 2 months since i broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. things are finally starting to feel better and i am finally able to function normally without constantly feeling the pain.

the problem is that i can't stop day dreaming!! something keeps telling me that it's only a matter of time and he'll come back after he had worked on all the issues.

of course, this doesn't make any logical sense. and in my head i know that this is impossible, and that he would never come back, and that it would never work out for so many reasons.

however, i can't seem to be able to stop all this wishful thinking. and i really belive it's not doing me any good!

there is this little voice inside of my head that keeps saying "you will get back together" and i can't stop it.

please help!

have you ever been through this?

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 10:26am
Yes, I've been through this, many times! I think that given the length of your relationship -- five years really is an awfully long time to be with someone -- that it's normal for you to still be having these thoughts at two months.

Heck, I broke up with my boyfriend seven weeks ago today, and I'm still fairly certain (in my weak moments) that any day now he'll be calling me up and asking if we can have a talk which will lead to us getting back together.

You're right that daydreaming about your eventual reunion is holding you back some, but the heart has a mind of its own. I believe we heal completely when we're ready to. If I were you I would just give myself more time. Healing is a process. It doesn't just end one day. Things keep improving a little bit each day, then sometimes bam, you're hit with a horrible pain again.

I think it's perfectly understandable to be having these daydreams. I'm sure there's a part of you that really wishes he would come back. That part of you will take a while to die. Be kind to yourself.