HELP! I am having very hard time
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| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:46pm |
I am very confused; my ex is sending mixed signals, and I am having A LOT of trouble with the "no contact" rule. He keeps emailing or calling and then I email back and then feel awful again. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying he wasn't sure what he wanted. Then he called later saying how much he missed me. He emailed me at work. We talked but he still didn't want to get back together. He still won't say that. He just sends these emails with vaguely hopeful messages.
I think he is just giving me crumbs to keep the door open if he changes his mind. I know I should tell him off & make him stop all contact, but I do have this stupid hope of getting back together. Before the (unexpected) break-up, everything had been going really well. I had pictured us getting married one day (I'm 34, he's 36). We dated almost a year.
Please help me, I know I shouldn't call him!!

I've been in your situation before, and it's horrible...I'm sorry for what you're going through. What worked for me was to finally say, "It's too painful for me to hear from you...I need you to please not contact me for the time being UNLESS you are 100% sure you want to get back together, in which case I'd be really happy to hear from you. Otherwise, I'll call you when I'm ready."
That way, you know he knows the door is open if he really wants to get back together, so it makes it (a little) easier to have no contact.
Sheri