help me move on!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
help me move on!
1
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:02am
when I was 16 i started seeing a guy, who i fell very much in love with. our relationship lasted two and a half years before ending seven months ago. we both went to uni and he found the temptation of the single life too much, and ended things. since then though we have still remained close and regularly sleep together and spend a lot of time together.

however, i am not happy because i hate to think of him with other girls and i know that he is occasionally. he blows hot and cold with me and sometimes we get on great and yet, at other times we will have huge rows and not speak for weeks. i desperately want to break this cycle and move on with my life, yet i am finding it too hard. part of me thinks that if i hang in there, we will sort things out and make things work again.

please help, am at the end of my tether.

thanks x

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
In reply to:
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 5:36pm
I was reading something on MarsVenus.com about why it's so hard to move on after a break up. One of the reasons is simply--fear. Fear of change is something we all deal with and one of the biggest reason we stay in relationships that are no longer right for us. What's the saying--the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. . .

Anyway, given that you've gone through some big changes lately--attending university, etc., it's only natural to instinctively cling to old things and old ways--even if you have outgrown them. The status quo makes us feel safe and secure, but you need to get past your fear and accept the loss, change and grow.

This is not to say that things might not work out for you two in the future. But you really need to heal and move on and if life brings you back together again, you'll be a better stronger person.

Take care!