Help Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Help Please!
3
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:04pm
Hi all...to be honest I really am surprised that I'm still moving...it's been a week since my bf decided he wanted the break and we've seen each other twice since then. To be honest, it was great seeing him but it was also putting salt in the wound. I have a lot of fear being by myself. I've always been a 'clinger'. Any guy I dated I would mold myself into what I thought he wanted me to be, I would constantly attend to their every need. Finally, when my recent bf (ex now I suppose) told me that 'no man would ever love me as much as he does' I finally became comfortable and I was myself with him. However...the tricky part is I don't think I ever really knew who I was. We had been best friends for 6 years, dated for 2 years and 4 mos. The first night we met I was just a kid, and the moment I saw him I knew he was the guy I was going to marry. When we got a little bit older he told me that he knew I was his soul mate and vice versa. The problem is, I invested all of my happiness into one person, a problem I think a lot of woman have. At this point I'm trying to keep my chin up, but I just miss him so much. I see all of the things I did wrong, and I would do anything to get a second chance and show him I've changed. He took hte break to get to know himself and to be more dependent on himself instead of me. I just miss the guy so much, I miss my best friend. I want to work on myself, but where do I start? The past week I've mostly been sitting at home wrting in my diary... I don't have much motivation. How do you get over your other half? And at what point should you let go?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
In reply to: bubbles193
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:39pm
I know it sucks and that you miss him, I miss my ex all the time, but it gets easier everyday. You may not feel like doing anything, but sometimes you just have to make yourself do things, even if you don't really want to. Going to the gym has really helped me, it makes you feel better about yourself. Maybe you could start there. Make some goals for yourself and figure what you want out of your life; with or without the guy. What would you do if you were just single for a long time, how would you live your life without worrying about a man? That helps me give direction in my own life sometimes and allows me to do everything I want to do for myself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: bubbles193
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 12:40pm

Oh girl, you definitely need this break more than he does.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
In reply to: bubbles193
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 1:21pm

okay lets talk about soul mate....i was in a same sitaution like yours that i thought my first love was my soul mate....actually it been so long since we split...believe or not i used to dream about him almost everyday BEFORE WE MET(i was like 13yrs old that time)...i was dating him on my dream and its weird cuz i never met him even once...so when i finally met him. i didnt even realized that he was the same person on my dream until one day after few weeks that we broke up...i dream this same person again...he was calling my name...so when i look at his face and he told me "REMEMBER ME"...IT WAS MY EXBF.

so when i woke up i realized it was him.....but on my dream his younger..ACTUALLY what makes me think it was the same person cuz of his mole on his face...cuz on my dream i was making fun of it that he has a big bug on his face...LOL

anyways now his married....but me...i'm still searching for MR. RIGHT...OH WELL...LOL

but i'm not waiting for him..my life must go on...for what experience i'm going to have...it will always be the beginning and learn with it...

good luck