Help, please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Help, please...
3
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:51am

I dated a guy for a few months, who later became very abusive. He would constantly tell me how I was fat, when in actuality I am not. How I was stupid, when I graduated from an Ivy League college with honors. And how I would never make it in life, when I have been currently moving up in my firm. So, I broke up with him, in March.

Since then, I have been seeing my best guy friend; whom I had dated in High School, freshmen year of college, but later broke up with when he moved to New York for work. I love my best friend and I know I am in a good place. But it seems that my ex is doing everything in his power to ruin things for me.

He used to call and leave messages on my machine to tell my boyfriend how worthless and horrible he was. When I changed my number, he started writing e-mails about how Matt would never be as good as him and how he would never treat me right. I e-mailed him about 2 months ago to tell him I would be sending all his stuff back. Unfortunately, I guess that was a bad idea. My ex feels like it is in his place to continue to down talk me. He has now written 5 e-mails trying to tell me how worthless I am. I blocked him because it hurts. Today, however, he e-mailed me at work to tell me that I was an "f-ing bitch with a skewed reality." Then told me to leave him alone. The thing is, I am hardly online. I only am online to e-mail or search for things like shoes, etc. And I only ever e-mailed him that one time; I never respond to his messages. Whereas, he is ALWAYS online. He is on MySpace so he can "harass" my friends who are on there. And is apart of a few gaming communities.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like this SOB is ruining my life because he can't just get a hold of himself... What should I do?

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ascella
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 1:43am
I'm sorry you have to put up with something like this. Your ex sounds like he has some issues, to say the least. You sound good and solid, like you know he's the one with the problems. My instinct is to tell you to ignore him for another month or so and hope he'll go away. The only other alternative is to get a restraining order ... Do you want to go that route? How long have you known this guy? Do you think he's capable of getting physically abusive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: ascella
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 9:13am

If this guy has been doing this since March, I'd say he's got serious issues. He's not just harrassing you, but your new bf and your friends. I'd go to the police and try to get a restraining order. It might be enough to give him a scare and show him your not going to put up with this. The other alternative is to go to his family if you got to know any of them during the relationship and tell them what he's doing.

I hope it gets better for you. Let us know what happens.

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
In reply to: ascella
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 11:10am
My quick two cents is see if you can get your Myspace friends to put him as a 'block user'. (I know that's an option on there... I've used it.) Can you ask your work IT people how to block him from your work email? There has to be a way.