Help, re-lapsing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Help, re-lapsing!
3
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:19am
Oh my god I'm miserable today, I've been crying my eyes out for the last hour and I can't shake it off. I was tidying my room today and found some old photos and an old letter from my ex under my bed, and I ended up re reading the letter and it hurt so much. It was from about 3 months ago when I was away for 2 and a half weeks training, and my (then) boyfriend used to phone me every day really upset and missing me. The letter was from when we were very much in love and is so sweet, we'd only been together for 2 months, and the letter says how much he loves me, how he can't wait to have me back and so on. 5 weeks after getting back from this training he dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship anymore and needed space which obviously devastated me. I've been doing so well moving on for the last 2 months, but reading that really rocked me. How can you be so in love and then not want to be with someone within the space of about a month? Really don't know what to do, it really feels like I've ripped the scab off a wound, and I just miss what we had so much.
Please help!
Emma x
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 11:35am

littlehiltsy..

Pianoguy has a musical suggestion for you.

Listen to the Bob Dylan tune: "LOVE IS JUST A 4-LETTER WORD!" (The Joan Baez version is excellent)

Not only will the lyrics help you adjust to "being without him"...but you might get an insight on when and what to believe when it comes to GETTING SERIOUS OVER ANYBODY?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 11:58am

Hi littlehiltsy and welcome to the board,


Sorry you are having a bad day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 12:38pm
Going through a breakup recently myself (it has been 6 weeks for me) I understand how you are feeling. You have had a set back and to me that is normal. Mine came last weekend, my ex's birthday was 6/12 and we were supposed to have been in Tunica, MS last weekend in a jacuzzi suite at one of the casino's for his birthday. I just tried to stay really busy all weekend and spend alot of time with my friends and family. That is what gets me through the hard days. Also my bestfriend and I have what we call the "3 day pitty party rule"....it goes like this....anytime one of us is going through or has recently been through a break up, after the initial getting over the shock period if you have a day when you are feeling really down or sorry for yourself you are allowed to give into it for 3 days. During those 3 days you can cry, scream, stay in bed, eat gallons of rocky road ice cream or whatever you feel like doing. At the end of those 3 days it is time to suck it up, pull yourself together and get on with your life. It kinda started out as a joke but we really make each other stick to it and it works. You use those 3 days to reflect and get it ouf of your system and it seems to give you strenght along with a new perspective. Hang in there