Help with today's first face to face
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| Fri, 10-07-2005 - 7:39am |
My ex and I split 3 weeks ago today on the phone. We were together 3.5 years. We have an occassional LD relationship (sometimes separated due to his work). He had an op to be with another and was not happy with the LD anymore due to sex, so we split. Of course there were other issues and conflicts. I had 2 weeks from hell but the 3rd week of NC helped.
Today he is in town for a week and we agreed it is best to meet and talk since we had no interface before. For me, I want closure. I want to say goodbye in peace and wish him well. I want no drama and have no need to rehash the breakup. We are over point blank. I do not want goodbye sex. Nada.
There is ONE thing I want to know and I need your help. I do not want to know her name or details BUT I do want to know what he feels for her and what things are about...does this make sense? Talk me out of this one question if you think I should not go there. The details of their intimacy and life is NOT my biz but I guess I am curious as to whether he really digs her and what not.
Any other last minute tips before I head into this today?
I will hold my head high, and try to maintain my dignity for myself. I pray I do not lose it. Thanks for helping me today. I need a good hug too..haa

MAJOR HUGS!!!
Yes face to face is good. See him. Do not ask about this girl, its not going to make you feel better at all. If you can, look at the thread called "Curiosity - Why". Why do we always want to know about the other woman?? What good does it do for our hearts that have already been broken, to know about another woman???
Long distance relationships are very hard. They only last for so long, if no one was willing to compromoise and move to be with the other they usually fall apart. Im sorry that your going through this, but do not make it any harder for yourself by asking about this girl.
Talk about you and him and wish each other well. Your going to walk away with even more of a broken heart to feel like you do not measure up to this woman. So leave it a mystery...DONT ASK.
Keep us posted!!! & keep your head up and dont let him see you cry. Let it out after you leave.
I wouldn't got there either concerning his current. It seems obvious that he digs her because she is accessible. It probably doesn't go much deeper at this point and it is not really important. In the end, most guys choose the woman who is in their own backyard, not because she is necessarily better but because she is there! -- I actually learned this in my Sociology class last spring. Take care and hope it goes well.
Lois
Lois and everyone..if you KNEW how you help me..how you strenghten and support my healing. I am in tears with gratitude..and will not use ONE MORE TEAR on him. This is really fascinating and so true, Lois. Tell your prof we used this lesson well.
I know I truly was a wonderful partner and gave him all I could and should..his loss and now I move on.