Help. What went wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Help. What went wrong?
9
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 10:53pm
The guy i am in love with that i was together for 10 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago completely out of the blue! He said he wants to be alone and just can't be with me anymore.But he told me throughout the whole time we were together that he loves me so much and would never leave me and how we were right together and how i was the one for him and a few days before we broke up he was telling me how much he loved me and how i'm stuck with him forever and talking about our future. He always said to me he never understood how my ex boyfriend could break up with me and that he thinks my ex is the biggest dickhead.
We were best friends but now he doesn't seem to want to be friends at all. I saw him the other day and he completely ignored me. Hes not acting like himself at all.
Whys he doing this and what should i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 11:18pm

Hmmmm, broke it up after 10 months. Possibly, the guy had a change of heart. Initially every thing is lovey dovey, but as soon as the real self starts emerging the parties see what hey'll be dating and even marrying. It's possible that this guy was dating more women all along and that after 10 months he's decided that some other woman is the right one for him, and not you. If he's ignoring it's because he feels he can disrespect you by doing so. His behavior says tons about him.

You ask..<<>> He's doing that because he wants to and possibly because he needs to be alone or with some other woman. You should take his word and accept it, it's over and it's time to heal and move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 11:23pm

That's the story of a lot of relationships I guess, mine included, down to the I love you, except I want to break up with you tomorrow.

Anyways, it doesn't matter why he's doing this - he did it. And what to do? Stop...contacting..him. He's ignoring you, pay it back in kind. Whatever else he was before, he is no longer that person, as hard as that is to swallow. Actually everything I said is really rough to stomach. I can remember how much it hurt when I broke up. Anyways, chin up, start NC, and go have some fun

Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 12:03am

Nah hes definately not dating any other women. Hes not that type of guy at all because his ex girlfriend cheated on him.
I'm just so confused because he was always the one talking bout our future and how he can't wait to move in with me and get married and have kids. He was saying that kinda stuff right up until the end. He was affectionate right up to the end too. The day we broke up he was cuddling me and kissing me on the couch and telling me how much he loved me. I haven't talked 2 him or contacted him and all i've done is be friendly, bubbly and happy when im around him.
All his friends think that hes acting weird and out of character and i know that he broke up with me and i have to move on and accept it. People have said that all along but i can't help but think hes made the wrong decision and is too stubborn to tell me.

I just want to be friends with him, i don't want to loose him completely but hes making it hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 2:33pm

Hi sare88,


Have you read this Why Did He Lose Interest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:30am
With such a character, I wonder why you want to remain friends with this man? What would be the pay off for YOU? He does kiss you and tells you how much he loves you, wants a future together
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 3:06pm

you date one guy but you break up with a another!


Its weird how people in realtionships are one way but when its time you end it or they end it the person you thought you knew so well now acts such a different way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 4:03pm

I read the article of Why He Loses Interest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 4:31pm

Hi rapunzel07 -


I'm sending you lots of good energy and a HUGE HUG!!


Grief is a process and we all go through it differently.


Relationship Grieving Process

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 9:36pm

I haven't stopped crying since Friday, and it has been such a help to see the posts and advice hear. I see so many other people happy, that I think I'm the only one hurting.


I was with a guy for almost three years, and like you, he told me how much he loved me, told me my ex-husband was crazy for letting me go, and asked me to move in with him. Then one day, out of the blue, he tells me that he is never going to want to get married and I should move on. Well, contrary to every self-help book, I kept seeing him until April when I couldn't take the distance anymore. I went almost five weeks with no contact, but sabotaged myself and had contact with him last week. Of course, he is dating someone else. Like you, I don't understand. We didn't have an argument, neither one of us was dating someone else right away, so what happened? And, if my ex-husband was crazy for letting me go, what does that make this guy???


I read the "grieving" article, and it's very good. Not easy to do, though. I want answers that I know I'll never have, and in the meantime, I feel like my hopes of having a family one day are slowly fading away. But, you have all been a support system that I can't thank you enough for.