Helpful Article

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
Helpful Article
3
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 11:22am

I hope it's ok to post this. The article is from the website: www.breakupsurvivor.com. Hope it helps someone!

"STOP the inanity!" Your first problem is that you are begging him back. Wrong! In SO many ways that is the worst approach possible. Men sometimes want what they can't have. Men are territorial. He may not think he wants you, but I can assure you he will not sleep well knowing that you don't give a rat's *ss. All of the crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and pity you hope for will never happen. It sickens men to know you are that obsessed with losing them. However, beating yourself up is not going to help you achieve future happiness. Are you listening? This is the best advice you are ever going to get. No therapist will give it to you like this. Either make the mistakes I've made in my naive days, or wake the hell up and give this schmuck a run for his money. If you do not follow the rules exactly, you will fail miserably and all of the crying and pity parties in the world will get you no where. I'm being blunt because there is no time for sugar coating. If you listen to me and listen up good, he will not know what hit him. If he never comes back, what do you have to lose? At least you will not feel like an obsessive fool that is allowing him to weaken the strength that you have if you choose to have it. You must adapt to these new rules: Don't call him. Don't write 5 page love novels to him. Don't act jealous. DON'T let him see you cry. Simply appear that you do NOT give a rat's *ss. Go out. I don't care if it is all you can take to drag your miserable butt out of that bed GET OUT and breathe. If he hears through the grape vine that you are out having fun and NOT pining over him, he will bust his balls to find out what you are up to. And that's just basic human nature of men being territorial. He knows that he has you under his thumb. In his mind you are too hung up on him to have a life, and he views it as a pathetic weakness. Oh heck no, Missy. We can't have that. STOP all of this 'I'll love you til' the day I die' (whatever) crap. It is dramatic and it disgusts him. You see, men lack empathy most of the time. Their emotions are based on what they feel is logic. Women base emotions on emotion. That may, or may not make sense to you. Take it, or leave it. I'm telling you that you absolutely must make him believe that you are completely over him. Happy go lucky. Do not yap to your friends. You never know which backstabbing wench will run at the mouth, or just tell the wrong guy pal of his what you don't want him to know. To your friends that are in ANY way associated with him: Always use that. They do your PR and damage control. No dramatic, pitiful, long drawn out goodbyes. Let him wonder what in the hell you are avoiding him for. Either allow your emotions to turn you into a rabbit boiling psycho, or sew him a new butt hole by becoming the radiant confident man eater that you absolutely have to appear to be. He can make you feel like a fool, or you can have a piece of mind. And I don't care what road lizard he drags up with. Don't you DARE for ANY reason whatsoever appear to be jealous, hateful, or spiteful. Any lot lizard he turns to is a non-entity in your life. Be as sweet a pie and as cool as orange sherbet if any encounters happen (by accident, do not deliberately run into him.) Avoid that man like the plaque and it will get to him soon enough. In a matter of the next few weeks: You now have a new man interested in you. He is a business man. Find one, or fabricate one. But by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that you know in his arena. It may sound crazy, but it does help you to gain a better piece of mind. You are not ready to date and that's fine. But he does not have to know that. Don't pass by his place. If you have to break your fingers, do NOT call or contact him in any way. I don't care what excuse you have to call him, avoid it at all costs. No emails. No boo-hoooo I love you crap. Hun, buck up. You are about to give that Viagra-reject the ride of his life. If you want that goofy loser back, this is the way to do it. But, I strongly suggest you do this just for a piece of mind and drop him like a hot potato. That's up to you. Be sure to keep yourself dolled up at all times. Don't leave the house without makeup. Get a new hairstyle. And get yourself a new red dress. Prance all over town in that dress and smile like you have just won the lottery. I don't care if you get that dressed up to go to a local Wal-Mart. Be seen. Get out of that house and let others see you looking good and appearing to feel better than you have in years. Get your butt out of that funk you're in. Anything he can do you can do better. Remember that. This one sounds like he needs a wakeup call. If he is out sniffing for the meow meow....by all means let him get his fill. Ignore him like he is nothing to you. It will drive his feeble mind up a wall. If it is a challenge he is after, you give him one to remember. And you remember what I'm telling you on this net: A man wants what he can't have. You show that rat bistardo what you are made of. He 'ain't' seen nothing yet. Let the shameless hussies drain him dry if that is what he is after. But, as long as he has to wonder what you are up to: his curiosity will kick in, and the challenge is there. If he things another dog is sniffing around his front porch, you are going to see him do a 180 in the attitude department. This just saved you a year's worth of therapy. Therapists answer questions with a question. Here's the answer babe. Make me proud! He won't know what in the hell hit him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 12:36pm
FABULOUS!!!
Thank you very much for posting that article....i've had such a bad day today.
Keep thinking: 'How could he do that to me? We were happy...and I know he was too!Then he just turned around, met his ex again...and now says he wants to be with her again and still loves her' (This is the second time this has happened by the way!)
This article has made me smile for the first time....so THANK YOU so much again!
I was silent last week, but this week i have emailed and expressed how BAD he treated me! But i've composed my last email and just sent it, saying that i realised the emails doesn't achieve anything and neither does my anger.
I wished him well and said: See you around....
This is the first day of the rest of my life...and i will be strong!!!
x
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 12:37pm

Likin' the article.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 1:13pm
this is ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!! I'm laughing and crying...I was having a really bad day - thinking about too much and what the hell he's doing. This changed my day!!! Thank you!