help...please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
help...please...
4
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 5:49pm
i need some help...and advice

my boyfriend and i have been living together since february and he's deicided he wants to move out...for a stupid supid reason. he says he's mad b/c i went out last night while he was home sleeping b/c he didnt feel well...and that i should've figured it out that he wanted me to stay home...so last night he went to his parent's house and decided that he's going to stay there for a while...he says he "needs time away"...claims he's not leaving me, but this was probably his way of "letting me down"...his friends say it's a BS reason...and that he's just using it as an excuse...we're both on the lease too...we were splitting the rent and all the bills...now i don't know if he's legally obligated to pay his half of the rent....i don't know what to do....i'm so numbed by this right now and so blindsided...i have a feeling he's just gonna come here while i'm at work to get his stuff..and avoid talking to me...i just don't know what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 6:34pm
Well, you're probably right that he'll return when you're out and retrieve his things. That is your gut instinct telling you about this individual situation - what you already know an dhave been dancing around and avoiding.

That he doesn't communicate, that everything has to be for him or around him - or else he's upset and removed.

Legally you're in a civil problem. And civil isn't criminal.

He's on the lease and legally obligated to pay - but so are you. If he's got somewhere else to go - if they "evict you both" he's not impacted. You are.

You can take him to court and get a judgement for waht is owed for the lease - but if he lives paycheck to paycheck youll never get what it costs you to get the judgement, much less what you're owed. The court can't force him to give you what he hasn't got, or you can't prove he's got.


So, i'd take this as a permanent split, I'd figure out if I could swing the rent without him...if not, where can YOU go and stay, or who can you put in, in his place.....

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:25pm
Welcome to the board!! I'm sooo sorry you have to go through all this. I think your bf is acting like a child and being very immature. He can't expect you to drop everything because he wants you to stay home (and if he wants you to stay home he could at least ask instead of get huffy when you don't)....to me it sounds like he's trying to control you...or like you mentioned....just looking for an excuse to end it. If I were you I'd just let him alone for now....if he changes his mind....he knows where to find you. Good luck and keep us posted and remember we're always here if you need us!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:27pm
I think there were other issues and this might have just be an excuse to end it


Edited 9/22/2004 10:31 pm ET ET by furor
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 8:05pm
well...

he ended up comming home last night and we talked..being a guy, he wanted me to stay home while he was sick...and he felt that didn't respect his requests....it all came down to a miscommunication and communication issues that we have to work out...he said he wants "us" to work and i gave him alot of perspective as well...like, what about the nights you go out and leave me at home?? and where i feel disrespected...how he doesnt help out around the house...so i think hopefully it might let us get our issues all out on the table and make things even better..=) wish us luck.. =)