Here we go again.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Here we go again.....
2
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 3:33pm
My ex boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago now, he told me at the time that he wanted to have time alone but what he really ment was he wanted to see whatelse was out there..... but that he still loved me etc, and eventually wanted to get back together. So last week he contacted me and told me he had somethin to tell me, and that I would be very happy about it, so I said ok.. Well will just see if you tell me ok if you don't then it doesn't really matter either way. SO anyway the day came and went and he didn't tell me anything worth while basically he just told me he slept with some girl in some little rat whole motel...and then he tried to kiss me, and I was like heck no, I dont know what you have, and now I know where you been NO WAY. since he told me that fact I just didn't feel the need to have any contact with him,it was real upsetting , and I just felt like I was done so today comes I'm at school, and I get this message from him telling me that he WAS going to tell me that he wanted to get back together but since I don't know how to call him back he doesn't know anymore, but he told me to call him back. Well I guess my question is .. Is this joker kidding or what, is he just saying that so that I will talk to him..because to be honest he has done me pretty dirty, and hurt me to the core, I still love him even though he has done those things but, I think its best to leave things the way they are, and just let the relationships die, I still hear him saying even in saying he wanted to get back together and be only with me, that he still doesn't know but that that he wants to know... like he always does that I want him back, but I'm tired of this bs and I don't think I want to step out and it could lead to me being unhappy. Any advice or just any thoughts on the situation or does anyone think the way I do, that he's just trying to see where my head is at so he can try to treat me bad somemore.


Thanks

Lynn

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 3:43pm
I'm so sorry this joker is still jerking you around Lynn. Why on earth would you consider going back to him for even one moment? It sounds like he's just playing with you, just trying to get your attention. He sounds really kind of pathetic and loser-like. You know what's best for you, and you've come a long way since your break up. I cast my vote for continuing NC. He will probaby be furious at you and may start an all-out campaign to get you back ... and if you do go back ... he will start treating you worse than he did before and will probably tell you he's not ready for a real relationship with you yet ... that he needs more time, just another month and so on.

I know you love him, but you deserve so much better than this loser Lynn. Love yourself first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 12:42am
You're right...let this "relationship" die. How long do you think it'll be before he gets the urge to use some other woman in a cheap hotel again? It'll be easier for him each time because he "knows" you'll take him back because you're turning a blind eye to his behavior. Do you think someone like that is going to give a squat about STD's or whether or not his behavior can leave you with a disease? Sounds like you're already on the right track with your responses (or lack of responses) to him. Read "He's Scared, She's Scared" (recommended by others on this board). It's an outstanding explanation of the patterns and cycles of troubled relationships and behavior of people like your boyfriend. It helps to see it in writing, then you don't think you're so crazy after all being involved with a person who would treat you like that. Sorry for the pain you're going through, it does get better!