he's already moved on
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he's already moved on
| Sun, 06-18-2006 - 12:39pm |
My ex and I did the break up dance for 2 months. He was the one that initiated it originally and yet he was also the one that couldn't let it go. We said "no contact" many times and yet he always called. We stuck to it this time - the break up was definite and we were "done". He was very harsh with some things, even saying things just died for him. Funny that he was pledgeing his undying love to me less then a week before he said that though. We hadn't talked since Sunday night and that was only a brief conversation, with no purpose other then him trying to relieve his guilt I suspect. He called last night totally out of the blue. He had been drinking (no surprise). He asked if I had meet anyone yet and I said no. I asked him the same and he got defensive. It was like he wanted me to know that he has meet someone. Apparently in the last 3 weeks since we have been "done" he has slept with 8 different women. And now he has meet one that he believes has the potential for being a serrious relationship. He hasn't slept with her yet (he volunteers this information I don't ask), yet she is over at his place every night and has already "indirectly" meet his boys. The big shocker is they are going away next weekend together for a long weekend get away. He is taking 2 days off from his job (which NEVER hapens)and they are going away. That would have been the weekend that we moved in together if things hadn't fallen apart 2 months ago. Everything was arranged, my house was being sold, boxes were packed, we were just waiting so that my daughter could finish her year at her school. Now he is going away with this new girlfriend of 2 weeks instead. I am crushed. I feel like he has just swept me aside. Even last night he was saying to me that I still have some kind of "hold" over him and that it is irrelevant now because he was to scared of everything. He admits that he pushed me away and tried to sabatoge the relationship because he couldn't handle it. He can't be "loose enough to love". He didn't want to answer to anyone, just wanted no strings and no relationship. Then he meet this girl and all that went out the window and he somehow thinks this could be serrious for them. She has no children so I suspect she will move into his place before the summer is up if not sooner. He dosn't like to be alone, that much I figured out.
I know I am better off without this guy. I know he never would have gotten his act together and that he has to much baggage for a healthy relationship. But I am so hurt that he has jumped right into something else again & I know he will fast track it and romance her just like he did with me. We still need to do the exchange of stuff and will do that July 8th, unless he shows up sooner while I am at work. I have talked to him again today (he was sober) and told him I think he is an *()_&^) for lying about not wanting a relationship when he obviously does. He said that he really didn't want one, it just happened. ugggggggg - I am so angry with myself for believing all the things he said he felt. I thought he was working through these emotional issues and that is why he kept calling and talking to me about them. Now he has her to listen to all his garbage. It is so insulting that he has moved on so quickly. I don't think he even waited one day.
I know I am better off without this guy. I know he never would have gotten his act together and that he has to much baggage for a healthy relationship. But I am so hurt that he has jumped right into something else again & I know he will fast track it and romance her just like he did with me. We still need to do the exchange of stuff and will do that July 8th, unless he shows up sooner while I am at work. I have talked to him again today (he was sober) and told him I think he is an *()_&^) for lying about not wanting a relationship when he obviously does. He said that he really didn't want one, it just happened. ugggggggg - I am so angry with myself for believing all the things he said he felt. I thought he was working through these emotional issues and that is why he kept calling and talking to me about them. Now he has her to listen to all his garbage. It is so insulting that he has moved on so quickly. I don't think he even waited one day.

Well, his actions speak to his character, and though it may be painful for you, they should make it clear to you that this isn't a man you would want to be with. Don't imagine his relationship to the other woman will be any different than it was with you. He will woo her and move in quickly and before you know it, he'll probably leave her just as amazed and bewildered as you are. Is there anyway you can bypass this exchange of stuff altogether? Have a friend do it for you instead? I'm afraid that any contact you have with this guy will just lead to more pain for you. Since he didn't respect your requests for no contact, he may continue to try to contact you and brag about his new relationship. I would encourage you to ignore his future attempts at contact.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I realize it's a painful situation and even though rationally you know he's not a great guy, emotionaly it still hurts. Hang in there. We're here for you.
See, I knew he would call. He's too messed up to NOT call and rub something like that in.
It is time to block him and *stop talking to him* so he can't hurt you more.
You can't control what he does but you can control what YOU do.
Sheri
hi mitchell
i'm so proud AT you my dear...atleast you show this guy that your strong and brave not to call him and beg him.
i'm assuming thats why lately his been calling you coz his guilty of what his doing. but dont have this gut to tell you..but now maybe he felt inlove with this girl...maybe she's playing hard to get with him and he got challenge to her..i mean you know guys. his scared of getting karma...so he end up telling you the truth.
dont worry dear...you could do this...anywayss you been doing it for 2 mths.
your still young...you deserved to have a good/great guy...you never know you find a single guy with no kids...and it will never bring conflict with your daughter. coz sometime its hard to date a guy with kids...coz for some reason if you guys leave together with your kid and his kids...there will always a problem....
GOOD LUCK AND MORE POWER TO YOU!!
I HOPE YOU HELP OTHERS HERE HOW TO BE STRONG LIKE YOU...BY SHARING YOUR WAYS HOW TO FORGET ABOUT A BAD MEMORY WITH THEIR EX'S.
Edited 6/19/2006 2:44 pm ET by jazz_meehh