he's avoiding me
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he's avoiding me
| Thu, 08-25-2005 - 8:51am |
I was hoping to break it off with my boyfriend this week. He must know that something is up because we've hardly talked all week. He hasn't called me at all, only e-mailed me a few short notes about work. We usually speak every day and meet up during the week but nothing has happened. The last time we saw each other I was pretty distant, but that's because all I could think of was him saying how marriage isn't a priority for him and he doesn't know when he wants to get married (after three years of dating!). We've spoken on the phone twice this week very briefly, but that's because i called him asking him about coming over. I pretty much just carried the coversation. It's strange. I don't want to break up over the phone because I feel that just isn't right at this point because we've been together for so long. He also a package of software he bought a while ago at my apartment that he keeps forgetting to pick up because I know if we broke up by phone I really couldn't deal with having to see him again so soon if he came to get it and it would be strange to mail it because he lives nearby. The stupid thing is just another reason why we're breaking up actually because he blows all of his money on stuff like this that he can't afford and when I tell him maybe it's better to pay off his credit card first he gets defensive and says I sound like his mother.
I know he's very bad when it comes to dealing with these kinds of emotional issues. Even when we talked about marriage it was like his whole personality changed and he came off almost defensive, even a little aggressive, like how dare I lead him into this conversation. He was actually pretty cold about it, and that's how he gets with these subjects, like he completely steps out of the role of my boyfriend and becomes this cold guy who just doesn't want to go there. I don't know what to do anymore. this is killing me but I'd like it to end already because I feel like I'm wasting my time with him since he doesn't want to get married. I almost wonder if he just wants me to do it by phone already. He always avoided conversations about "us" and now I think he's trying to do it again by not seeing me all week.
I know he's very bad when it comes to dealing with these kinds of emotional issues. Even when we talked about marriage it was like his whole personality changed and he came off almost defensive, even a little aggressive, like how dare I lead him into this conversation. He was actually pretty cold about it, and that's how he gets with these subjects, like he completely steps out of the role of my boyfriend and becomes this cold guy who just doesn't want to go there. I don't know what to do anymore. this is killing me but I'd like it to end already because I feel like I'm wasting my time with him since he doesn't want to get married. I almost wonder if he just wants me to do it by phone already. He always avoided conversations about "us" and now I think he's trying to do it again by not seeing me all week.

Hi, I know your agony. Have you thought about going to his place to just end it?? Bring his things, and say your peace and then you can leave without too much awkwardness. You know, he probably does have a clue that it's coming and he's having a hard time facing up to it. But the dragging out isn't helping your peace of mind or healing. I know this isn't really what you want, but if he's that adamant about not making a commmitment than what choice do you have??
I really wish you the best and courage to go thru with it. You will feel alot better once you end it, and you can work on moving on.
*hugs* Grace