he's back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
he's back...
4
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 7:10am
so it's been about 3 weeks or so since he broke up w/me. Now this weekend he stopped over out of the blue...wants to get together for dinner. Man, all the sadness and anger is back again. What is he doing? I know I can't go thru all this again. It was easy to not contact him when he was making no contact. I felt like I was really moving forward. Now I feel like I'm right back to where I started. I just started a new job so I really can't be a basketcase. I jumped on my treadmill this morning and that did help. I just don't know how to fill up my time. The last few weeks have been a blur - just trying to get over him. I live alone and have plenty of projects to do here but man, is that enough? I just want this knot in my stomach to go away. When does the sadness stop? I'm so lost.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
In reply to: karvs
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 9:46am

I'm going through the same thing! I was moving forward, slowly, and painfully, until he popped back in just probably for a booty call and to lie to me some more.

Just hang in there. I'm trying to, one day at a time, but don't feel alone. There are a lot of jerks out there, so a lot of women go through this on a daily basis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
In reply to: karvs
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:09am

thanks for your reply. It's so damn frustrating!! I guess I need to tell him that no, we can't be friends. Just go away and leave me alone. I don't think he has any idea how badly he's hurt me. I certainly haven't told him. And i don't want to - I don't want his ego to inflate any more than it already is. ha. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of feeling all alone, ya know?

Anyway thanks for letting me vent.

You hang in too...maybe we can get thru all this crap together.

Have a great day.

K.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: karvs
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 11:58am
I am also going through a break-up right now. I also had the same problem where he contacted me. It is absolutely essential that you allow yourself to heal...no matter how hard it is to maintain that 30+ days of no contact. At first it was extremely hard... I had a huge knot in my stomach, i couldn't sleep, i felt like my heart weighed a million pounds. But each day was easier than the one before. WHen he contacted me, I was devastated... I was doing so well. I wasn't thinking about it as much. I hadn't gotten a hold of him. I was beginning my process. He told me that it was brutal not to talk to me. I told him that if he wanted to be friends in the future and that if he really really cared about me... he would not contact me. If he did, there would be no future as far as being in each others lives in some form. I asked him the question: would you rather not talk to me for a few months or would you rather not talk to me for a lifetime? He chose the first one. Guys are selfish. They don't care whether or not it hurts you to see or talk to them, because in the end, they just want what is going to make them feel better. When did it become okay for them to do this and for women not to do the same? Think about yourself right now and whats best for you. Let the fact that he is trying to see you...empower you to go out and do better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
In reply to: karvs
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 12:35pm
wow...thank you for your reply. I know you are right - no contact. No sleep, the huge knot...I've got it all going on. In fact, he just called me. Unreal. I'd better get back to work but thanks again and I will take your words to heart. Feeling better already... :)