He's in denial, blaming it on me ..help!
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He's in denial, blaming it on me ..help!
| Tue, 08-14-2007 - 1:11am |
Ok so heres my story
I dated somone for over a year..and in the beginning (and middle kind of) it was amazing. A love story you would see in a cheesy romantic movie. we were delriously happy and perfect together, every night we spent together and made each other completely giggly and gloriously happy. We had it all, cheesy jokes, playful fights breakfasts, caring, holding each other tight, fantastic sex. All we knew was each other, our love felt so innocent and honest. Then. He got a job and changed. I noticed and picked up on it just a few weeks after he started working, he works at a store where theres mostly female employees and where they sell merchandise geared to girls of the same age as him. Im 21 hes one year younger. He's extremely good lucking and charming and obviously other
girls noticed and gave him attention. Anyways, he changed and got very into this job. Always talking about it, started listening to different music, and becoming much more 'macho' I noticed him changing right away and it left such a sick feeling in my stomach but i just ignored it. Until one day...when he worked at a different location. And i read a conversation he had with a friend about essentially saying that
tons of hot girls worked there and they all wanted him, and one 'lindsay lohan look alike' offered him his phone number. my ex's friend encouraged him to go get it and to end it with me..hes too young etcetc and that those girls are hotter than me. And my ex essentially agreed with everything and said he'd think about getting her number...hes has plenty of time. well. i promptly set him straight adn broke up with him. he
came crying back bawling and begged my forgiveness ,,,after a lot of ignoring on my part and more of setting him straight i took him back. and for awhile there we were ok. but he just kept changing. He now puts on a macho act around other people which makes me so upset. He's spoiled rotten from his parents, they're an italian family and his mother pampers him to no end. He got a tattoo of bullets around his arm and is continually trying to play up some tought guy act. He was my absolute everything and i just wanted to
make himhappy ...whcih would have mad me happy. And witnessing these changes...for the worse..tore me apart and i changed too..ive hardened myself. So whenever we fight or i let him know how much hes changed he throws it back at me saying ive changed so much he doesnt know who i am etc. I try to kiss him and he turns away then denies it.I get all dressed up and he barely mentions nething, or asks why im so fancy.
I barely pinched him in one instance for making a hurtful comment and he shoved me off the couch onto the ground. I stand up for myself and i think that frustrates him. He can be extremely possesive as well, at parties not wanting me to walk to the bathroom by myself, or having his arm around me but not really talking to me, ugh. And he only kisses me or squeezes me its seems when he wants action. He says he loves me so much but he cant see what hes doing wrong. Hes making me feel crazy and so many times i feel so worthless or that something is wrong with me simply being mean or perhaps a bitch..
for puting up a fight or wanting my indepence.
I ended it on saturday when he threw me from the couch, that was when i just came back from a week vacation with the family. He took me out for dinner but then proceeded to ignore me back at home. I was hoping to do something but when i mentioned that he promptly felt ill. I was frustrated at first with that but thought i was being harsh so i rubbed and kissed his belly..gave him a vitamin and cups of water
but he just asked for a bj after and i was appalled.
Its over. but hes texting me constantly saying he cant believe im doing this to him and he could never forgive me. when we talk on the phone he doesnt believe its over and whe i say that it is he starts crying and screaming. I dont get it. He makes me feel so stupid for trying so hard
and loving him so much..he makes me feel like he doesnt really want me and is sick of me. yethe cant bear to break up? i think its his possiveness towards me..the conforting familairity..and the fact that since he is indeed spoiled he cant stand being told no.
This is all so completely confusing, im trying to keep my head clear and my heart strong but i canthelp thinking im wrong. am i really just a big bitch? ..i just dont get it
I dated somone for over a year..and in the beginning (and middle kind of) it was amazing. A love story you would see in a cheesy romantic movie. we were delriously happy and perfect together, every night we spent together and made each other completely giggly and gloriously happy. We had it all, cheesy jokes, playful fights breakfasts, caring, holding each other tight, fantastic sex. All we knew was each other, our love felt so innocent and honest. Then. He got a job and changed. I noticed and picked up on it just a few weeks after he started working, he works at a store where theres mostly female employees and where they sell merchandise geared to girls of the same age as him. Im 21 hes one year younger. He's extremely good lucking and charming and obviously other
girls noticed and gave him attention. Anyways, he changed and got very into this job. Always talking about it, started listening to different music, and becoming much more 'macho' I noticed him changing right away and it left such a sick feeling in my stomach but i just ignored it. Until one day...when he worked at a different location. And i read a conversation he had with a friend about essentially saying that
tons of hot girls worked there and they all wanted him, and one 'lindsay lohan look alike' offered him his phone number. my ex's friend encouraged him to go get it and to end it with me..hes too young etcetc and that those girls are hotter than me. And my ex essentially agreed with everything and said he'd think about getting her number...hes has plenty of time. well. i promptly set him straight adn broke up with him. he
came crying back bawling and begged my forgiveness ,,,after a lot of ignoring on my part and more of setting him straight i took him back. and for awhile there we were ok. but he just kept changing. He now puts on a macho act around other people which makes me so upset. He's spoiled rotten from his parents, they're an italian family and his mother pampers him to no end. He got a tattoo of bullets around his arm and is continually trying to play up some tought guy act. He was my absolute everything and i just wanted to
make himhappy ...whcih would have mad me happy. And witnessing these changes...for the worse..tore me apart and i changed too..ive hardened myself. So whenever we fight or i let him know how much hes changed he throws it back at me saying ive changed so much he doesnt know who i am etc. I try to kiss him and he turns away then denies it.I get all dressed up and he barely mentions nething, or asks why im so fancy.
I barely pinched him in one instance for making a hurtful comment and he shoved me off the couch onto the ground. I stand up for myself and i think that frustrates him. He can be extremely possesive as well, at parties not wanting me to walk to the bathroom by myself, or having his arm around me but not really talking to me, ugh. And he only kisses me or squeezes me its seems when he wants action. He says he loves me so much but he cant see what hes doing wrong. Hes making me feel crazy and so many times i feel so worthless or that something is wrong with me simply being mean or perhaps a bitch..
for puting up a fight or wanting my indepence.
I ended it on saturday when he threw me from the couch, that was when i just came back from a week vacation with the family. He took me out for dinner but then proceeded to ignore me back at home. I was hoping to do something but when i mentioned that he promptly felt ill. I was frustrated at first with that but thought i was being harsh so i rubbed and kissed his belly..gave him a vitamin and cups of water
but he just asked for a bj after and i was appalled.
Its over. but hes texting me constantly saying he cant believe im doing this to him and he could never forgive me. when we talk on the phone he doesnt believe its over and whe i say that it is he starts crying and screaming. I dont get it. He makes me feel so stupid for trying so hard
and loving him so much..he makes me feel like he doesnt really want me and is sick of me. yethe cant bear to break up? i think its his possiveness towards me..the conforting familairity..and the fact that since he is indeed spoiled he cant stand being told no.
This is all so completely confusing, im trying to keep my head clear and my heart strong but i canthelp thinking im wrong. am i really just a big bitch? ..i just dont get it

Welcome to the board shannon1988,
Here's the thing (it's late, so excuse my bluntness) - he's spoiled, wants what he can't have and acts like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum.
and for telling me what i need to hear
it just hurts you know? its hard but i agree with your opinion
I know it's hard and I know it hurts.