He's having surgery
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| Fri, 07-27-2007 - 11:38am |
We broke up 2 weeks ago. Since then, we’ve been in vague but unavoidable email contact regarding a division on a family share cell phone acct (imagine that – he didn’t want to continue paying my cell phone bill – haha) and my passport being mailed to him, nothing painful or hurtful.
So I got a VM from him the other day on my old cell # telling me he’s got some problem, he’ll be on meds for a few months and may need surgery. He said this as a reason why he hasn’t had a chance to get the last of my things back to me (which I hadn’t asked about to begin with – I’m totally fine with waiting, I’d prefer it). He went on to say he thinks of me, hopes I’m well and hopes there will eventually be no hard feels. That was it.
My question is, what do I do now? Do I continue with my no contact? Do I briefly reach out and say some kind of “I’m sorry to hear you’re sick” thing? I still care about him so much and it worries me and breaks my heart that something is wrong, but at the same time I need to worry about myself, and just the last day or so I’ve started to feel better, like I’m making progress – I don’t want to start back at zero!! What do you guys think? It’s been 2 days, he emailed me to check an “important msg” he left on my old VM, so he knows I’ve heard it by now. If I should respond in someway, is it going to look bad that I’ve already waited this long??

Hmmm, Personally, I would email him back with. "Sorry to hear you're feelng poorly. Hope you get well soon. No need to reply to this message" and sign it.
That way I wouldn't feel heartless for ignoring him but I'd kill the chances spending the next 3 weeks checking my email 800 times for some glimmer of hope.
Susanna
Oh, that's a tough one. I would feel emotionally manipulated and a bit resentful that he'd put me in that position--the two of you are broken up, he needs to find other people to rely on for emotional support now so what's he doing contacting you?
Besides, if I'm reading your post correctly, he's not HAVING surgery, he's saying he MAY need surgery--two very different things and again that sounds like manipulation to me to get you to feel sorry for him.
But OTOH, he is someone you care about even though you are broken up. So I'd probably send a short note back saying something like "I hope things improve for you healthwise soon. I'll be in touch getting the rest of my stuff when I am ready to be in contact with you again. Take care."
That way, you send a message that you need to not be in contact with him...one you probably already communicated to him but it's good to reinforce it.
At some point, you may need to turn off the old phone permanently and block him from emailing you if he persists in contacting you.
Sheri