hes NOT changing his mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
hes NOT changing his mind
8
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 9:15am
so i had a few posts up and i kept saying that i hope hell come back and change his mind...i actually really thought he would. well, i called yesterday ( we were long distance because he was in school; and he just got back home yesterday for 2 weeks for a vacation we had planned)...and i asked if we could go out to cofee and talk. he said " id love to see you, but i wont change my mind. it will be too hard and we wouldnt be able to resist eachother, so no, bad idea"....he actually said I WONT CHANGE MY MIND...answers alll my questions, and kills all my hope. but there you have it folks.....now i know..hes not changing his mind :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 9:24am

I know how you feel. I was willing to give my ex a 2nd chance to make things work and he passed up on it. It hurts really bad. I wish I had better advice. All I can say is that he obviously isn't the one for you and that there is something better out there for you. But its going to take time to get past these feelings. Also, appreciate his honestly in not leading you on but being forthcoming with you. And respect him for it.

(((((((hugs)))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 11:05am
That sucks. I am just waiting for my ex to say that to me. I'm sure the next time I approach him he will reject me for the last time. I am trying not to say anything to him, but it is so hard not to cave. Maybe at least now you might have some closure...but it still must hurt unbearably. I just think the more we ignore these guys, that is the only way to get their attention. Unless, of course, they date someone else (like my ex started doing), then I just feel doomed. Pathetic, I know. I am still hoping and waiting for the day he says "let's go out somewhere and talk".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 11:55am

Hmm, actually that struck me too.

Do you get the feeling that it was the long distance that killed you? I broke while we were on long distance, so for a while I felt that if we met face to face everything would suddenly be fine again.

Hope is such an awful thing sometimes.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 12:10pm

why did you guys break up? i dont know if it was long distance or not-- he just told me that he didnt see a future with me and i wasnt the one for me. and this all happend a week after i came back from visiting him for 2 weeks. so maybe he just decided he didnt love me anymore. who knows.

hope is terrible because for some reoson i really believed he would come back. no matter what he said i thought hed definetly change his mind, because he would always say I LOVE YOU but... we arent meant for one another or I LOVE YOU but.....etc etc etc. but yesterday he just said I WONT CHANGE MY MIND. woooahh! let me tell you, that killed me..and i cried and i cried and i cried..but what the hell is the point? HE WONT CHANGE HIS MIND ANYMORE! now i get that.

it sucks A LOT...but what the hell can we do? i mean look at all of us here we are all heartbroken, sad, crying, depressed, miserable...now i wonder..ARE THE GUYS DOING THE SAME THING?? noooooooooooo!!! why cant we all just stop lol dammit, why cant i listen to my own advice???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 2:00pm
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION! WHY CAN'T I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE!!! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 5:07pm
youre right :)but id much rather respect him for changing his mind and realizing he made a mistake :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 5:09pm
yeah..i was waiting for that too...cant say that im not anymore :) but now i realize thats just me dreaming. it wont really happen for me. he did tell me straight out " IM NOT CHANGING MY MIND" :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 8:44pm

At least you guys are brave enough to find that closure.

I am pretty sure my ex will say the same thing so I've avoided confronting him about that. I see him 5 days a week and sometimes I do think if I hear that 'I won't change my mind' I will be better off. But then I think to myself, if I do that on Monday and have to see him Tuesday, would I not feel even worse?

Hence 8 months down the track I still think about him and am still getting over him. I feel pretty pathetic.