i'm going through the same stupid, horrific thing (see my five bajillion posts under "update to bad situation"???)
it's like, why are we being punished when we didn't do anything? now i have no definite answers, as i'm still trying to get through this too, but one thing i've heard is that it's a way of them coping. that doesn't excuse the bad behavior at all, of course, but i guess being distant or whatever makes the tough situation easier to deal with...
in turn, it could in the end make it easier for us to handle the situation, because this rudeness that's uncalled for serves as proof of why these guys weren't right for us at all.
I can imagine what that must have felt like. I totally anticipated the same thing happening so I literally deleted my ex (still tough to say) from everything, including IM the second he walked out of the door. I wanted to beat him to the punch to so speak. But it happened to you and all you can do is move forward from here.
I have a friend (my breakup buddy) who keeps contacting her ex (even though she is "just leaving messages") to finished a remodeling job he started for her. She insists that he owes her that (she says she won't be there for him finishing the job), but i say, there isn't one other contractor out there who can finish the job? Even though she says there is NC, there is still an emotional connection, and until that is completely broken there is no way she can move on. This reminded me of your squirrel in the attic story.
I don’t' know you, but I imagine you were a strong, independent woman before you me the ex. You can do all the same things from here on out. Sure, my ex gave me ride to the airport when i needed them, but I'd rather pay a small fortune to take a cab then to ask him for
Hi and Im sorry you have found yourself here too...It seems like I say that to everyone who I respond to here, but its sincere, because this is a board I never wanted to be on...NO OFFENSE CL's...its a great place to come to....I think you all know what I mean! lol
Well thank you for your insight and your thoughts, it was a terrible moment, and what it worse was that I had a good day for a change...this was probably my best day since this happened Oct. 1st....Its not an attempt to be bitter or forever angry but for now I wont forget today and how he once again kicked me in the gut....I CANT because its these moments that give me the drive and determination I need to get on with my life and never look back.
I agree with you that Im being a bit dependent and I shouldnt have asked him for help and maybe I need to admit that in some warped way it was an excuse for contact...I could have called someone else, and in the end I had to go looking for someone anyway and it cost me more money, but the end result would have been easier to swallow if I just would have done that in the first place.
I know Carrie....stupid stupid stupid....stubborn me....but he's no longer there as of 10 minutes ago. Thats it.....every memory, every form of contact, every thing that reminds me of him is gone now...some forever and some packed away and in the attic.
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i'm going through the same stupid, horrific thing (see my five bajillion posts under "update to bad situation"???)
it's like, why are we being punished when we didn't do anything? now i have no definite answers, as i'm still trying to get through this too, but one thing i've heard is that it's a way of them coping. that doesn't excuse the bad behavior at all, of course, but i guess being distant or whatever makes the tough situation easier to deal with...
in turn, it could in the end make it easier for us to handle the situation, because this rudeness that's uncalled for serves as proof of why these guys weren't right for us at all.
just a thought.
Sorry to hear your dealing with this too..its so frustrating!
yeah, i'd say guilt and confusion are givens.
in my case, the guy got a new girlfriend within a week after breaking it off with me
Hi Sue-
I can imagine what that must have felt like. I totally anticipated the same thing happening so I literally deleted my ex (still tough to say) from everything, including IM the second he walked out of the door. I wanted to beat him to the punch to so speak. But it happened to you and all you can do is move forward from here.
I have a friend (my breakup buddy) who keeps contacting her ex (even though she is "just leaving messages") to finished a remodeling job he started for her. She insists that he owes her that (she says she won't be there for him finishing the job), but i say, there isn't one other contractor out there who can finish the job? Even though she says there is NC, there is still an emotional connection, and until that is completely broken there is no way she can move on. This reminded me of your squirrel in the attic story.
I don’t' know you, but I imagine you were a strong, independent woman before you me the ex. You can do all the same things from here on out. Sure, my ex gave me ride to the airport when i needed them, but I'd rather pay a small fortune to take a cab then to ask him for
Hi and Im sorry you have found yourself here too...It seems like I say that to everyone who I respond to here, but its sincere, because this is a board I never wanted to be on...NO OFFENSE CL's...its a great place to come to....I think you all know what I mean! lol
Well thank you for your insight and your thoughts, it was a terrible moment, and what it worse was that I had a good day for a change...this was probably my best day since this happened Oct. 1st....Its not an attempt to be bitter or forever angry but for now I wont forget today and how he once again kicked me in the gut....I CANT because its these moments that give me the drive and determination I need to get on with my life and never look back.
I agree with you that Im being a bit dependent and I shouldnt have asked him for help and maybe I need to admit that in some warped way it was an excuse for contact...I could have called someone else, and in the end I had to go looking for someone anyway and it cost me more money, but the end result would have been easier to swallow if I just would have done that in the first place.
Hey Carrie can I get your input on this part of my posts...this is really bothering me tonight...I cant understand this part....
I wrote:
I felt kicked in the gut! And for the first time today
Ok, I replied, lost it so here's an attempt to reconstruct it.... Mercury retro re-do. Sigh.
His userthing on your AIM might seem like a little thing, but it's not. Good job knocking that baby right out of your life!
Claudia
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