Hes trying to get me back - I'm confused
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| Thu, 09-08-2005 - 1:34pm |
I have posted in this the past few days, but things just got a lot worse. I need help PLEASE. This one will be long, but please read it and help me, I need advice.
My ex-fiance I broke up a few weeks ago. We haven't spoken much because I never called, I was trying to let it go even though it has been very painful for me. Last night he called me and said he had stopped by, I wasn't there so he left a card under my front door. I agreed to meet him after his defensive driving class (around 9:30pm) at my house to talk. He kept telling me how much he missed me and missed hearing my voice and other stuff about me. Before I had a chance to read the card a mutual friend of ours (a girl) called me. I told her I wasn't sure what to do and she told me some stuff he supposedly did to me. The last weekend we were together I went out with a girl friend and he went with a guy friend driving around and stopping at friend's houses. The mutual friend told me that my ex kissed another girl and tried to have sex with another one. She said he choked the girl he tried to have sex with because she wouldn't give it up. I was devestated. Then she went on to explain that this girl has been hanging out with him at the beach at his friend's parent's beachhouse. He always told me that his friend's parents were not cool with girls staying there. (I don't see why, we were engaged and I am 27, he is 25). So that hurt too. I don't know if all of this is true or not.
I briefly read the card (which was long) and the letter he left under my door. I started writing a letter to leave on his car so he would not stop out my house later. It was EXTREMELY hurtful, very mean and I pretty much told him he doesn't deserve me and he can take his sly remarks and smoothness and shove it up his a**. I also told him how he was trying to be a player and now he is alone and I laugh just thinking about it. I signed the letter "Love, Tammie" then wrote "ahhhh not anymore" and pointed an arrow to the Love part I wrote. It was very hateful and my intention was to hurt him horribly. It worked.
He ended up calling me (I left the letter then went to afriends house in case he tried to come over to my house). He called me from my house, he said he didn't get my letter, I had a copy so I read it to him. He denied it and kept wanting to know who said that about him (He was even crying). I never told him who. He ended up leaving and went to work, so I went back to my house. He ended up realizing my letter was on his car and after he left my house I guess he read it. About 12:00am I woke up to someone knocking on my window. I let him in and we talked. He said he saw the girls who he supposedly did this with and they asked what was wrong with him. He told them and they both said they would meet me after they got off work (3 am) and tell me it wasn't true. I didn't go because I have to get up for work at 5:30am. I told him I want to speak to them though. We talked a lot and he tried to get sex but I said no. He kept begging me to get back with him, I told him I am confused (about what I had heard and the reason we broke up in the first place). I told him I need time to decide if this is what I want or not. He was hurt, but I am not making a quick decision like that.
If a guy is willing to let you talk to the people he allegidly messed with, does that say this whole story could be a lie? I am deffinatly planning to talk to them before I make any decision. I just need some good advice.
On top of this all I am depressed (just made appts yesterday for a therapist and psychiatrist). I also have an anxiety problem (almost had an attack this morning). I just want outside advice because my thoughts are in so much turmoil right now.
Please help me :(

If there is any part of that doubts his story, even with the "testimony" of the girls he allegedly fooled around with, don't get back with him.
There was an incident with me and my ex where he supposedly cheated on me with a much younger girl. I trusted him that nothing had happened, even though some things were left unexplained.
But over a year later when it was brought up again I had to go right back to square one with accusing him... so if there is even the slightest percent of your brain OR heart that thinks he could have really done these things, don't get back with him.
Because as much as you bury that one little part, it doesn't take much to bring it back to the surface.
I know this isn't real solid advice but it's the best I've got.
Good luck and I hope things get better soon!