holding on to what hurts
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holding on to what hurts
| Wed, 09-15-2004 - 9:19am |
Gosh, I keep wondering why it was so hard for me to break of with my bf of 10 months , 2 months ago........he was a jerk. But why did I want to stay with him? Its confusing. parts of me still want to hold on to him..which is more confusing. sometimes I wonder if he thinks about me or mises me.....he has a new gf , he has been with her since we were together..yeah, he cheated. He has obvioduly moved on.........but he called me. Why? i try to figure out why. I secretly hope that his new relationship is in trouble.......or that he might want me back. I have so many twisted thoughts. I was strong....to end things. It hurt so much , it still does. I keep thinking about him all this week..even though he hurt me so much. even though I broke up with him 2 months ago. Why do I keep thinking about him..I have tried to start loving myself again by doing the things that make me happy.shopping, exercising, being eith people I care about and vice versa......I am in my 3rd year of college and i am doing well.....I made some new friends........but he still lingers in my thoughts. i want to stop thinking about him. i hate that I think about him, like what he is doing or something...i feel like he still has a grip in me....I am afraid that i will think about him so much that I will be distracted from my life....I am trying to heal but its...hard. Does anyone feel this way? How do you deal with this?

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to help you get over him though. The fact that you're doing well in school is good. The fact that you've made new friend is good too.
I think it's normal for you to continue thinking of him. One day you'll find the thoughts are gone and shortly after you may find love again.
I think breakups are particularly hurtful when betrayal is involved. You loved and trusted this man, and he cheated on you, he betrayed your trust. That can be a hard thing to get over. But be thankful that you had the courage to end it and move on. Be proud of yourself for that. And resist temptation to go back. If he calls you, don't answer his call. Or tell him it's over and hang up. Do you think you could do that?