holidays got me bummed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
holidays got me bummed
2
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 10:34am

so, i've been broken up w/my ex now for almost 4 mths. for the last week or so, i've been comsemplating on writing him "the letter" but lately i just can't help to miss him. i guess since x-mas is next week, i miss us doing our x-mas shopping, i miss wrapping all the gifts that we purchased for each other's family but most of all, i miss his touch.

some days i hate him w/a passion, and other's i think about him constantly. its like i know what to do, but somehow cannever muster up the courage to actually do it.

i was going to call him yesterday b/c i was feeling very blue about our current relationship. so i called, the phone disc-and i called again, this time i left a message telling him that the reason i haven't returned his phone call was b/c i was bz and that i wanted to talk. he still hasn't called me back yet.

so my question is -why am i still so emotionally attached to him if we've been broken up for 4 mths now? should i write the letter or should i call him to see what's on his mind before i write it?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 2:25pm
First of all let me say, my girlfriend and I broke up a little over three months ago and I still feel things for her, and she's told me she feels things for me, so you shouldn't think it's weird that you still feel strongly about your ex boyfriend. I'm not really sure what you mean by "the letter", but from a guys perspective I just thought i'd let you know that he probably still thinks of you and you should really talk to him and explain your feelings. I think girls always assume guys don't want to figure this stuff out, but I think it's more stubborness on both party's sides. You want to talk to him but you think he doesn't want to talk to you, and vice-versa, he wants to talk to you but thinks you don't want to talk to him. I know that I felt better when my ex girlfriend talked to me about things; atleast it will allow you both to get some things in the open. I don't know if this was any help, but good luck with the situation.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 7:33pm

Forgive me if I'm confusing you with another poster, but if I'm not mistaken, you've been in contact and even sleeping with him for most of the time you've been broken up, correct? So...how exactly would you have broken the emotional attachment? That takes no contact.

No, you should not write the letter or call him. What you need to do is not have any contact with him AT ALL for a good long time.

Sheri