Honest opinions wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Honest opinions wanted
11
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:21am

This is going to sound strange, so bear with me. I went on a date with someone 6 times over a span of a couple of months. He was/is super shy, never asks a girl out, etc., but I found him to be interesting. However, I soon found out that he is nothing like guys I usually date. I'm usually into outgoing, funny, popular, witty, confident guys, but on our dates, I discovered that this guy was slightly dorky, reserved, and somewhat insecure. BUT, I was still interested in him (that chemistry thing), and from what everyone told me, he was the nicest guy, gentleman, all that good stuff.

So, for the dates...I was unsure of whether I really liked him and I would constantly analyze him in my head (like OMG, I can't believe he watches Dancing with the stars, etc.), but by the 3rd date or so, I started to say those things out loud to him. I also would say things like, I'm not sure if I really like you and all that...all the while he was telling me that he liked me. Although it seems like common sense that I should have known those statements would bother him, I wasn't thinking and he never stated that they did. So, a huge regret on my part.

Ok, so for the 7th date, he was supposed to come to my birtday party, but he called and left a v/m saying that he was unable to come because of a lame reason (he hadn't brought a change of clothes after work). I was really shocked and didn't expect that b/c I thought he was this "nice guy". So he calls me the next day, but I don't answer. I called him the following day and he apologized, blah blah blah, said he would call in a couple days, but never called me. I tried to call him on the 3rd day and he never answered. It's been 2 weeks now. I'm kinda bummed and feeling like I may have actually liked this guy. But, at the same time, I think just not calling is a jerk thing to do, no? Is there anything that I can/should do at this point? What's your opinion on the situation?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 10:37am

I love breakthroughs :)

I found that many times, a good kick in the butt sends us a little further than a gentle pat on the back. I think with your new insights into *yourself* you'll do much better in your next relationship.

All the best,

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