Hope I can get through this
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| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 2:02pm |
I have to stick to my guns this time and it's very hard. I've asked him not to call me anymore because it makes it to hard. Last night I had a great night out by myself... window shopping, book store, and groceries. He didn't call me and I thought I was home free... but of course he called towards the end of the night... how was your night, what did you do, etc... and then I get sucked in wondering what he was up to, doing, etc. He did ask me to meet him for drinks and talk and I DECLINED. He seemed shocked because I always would. One small victory to get over this.
I just hope I am strong enough not to go back into our normal pattern. Of course I care for him and miss him, I just know my life won't grow or get better the way we have been so it's time to really end. I don't know why this is so hard. I am worried about getting through the next few weeks even though I've made lots of plans to stay busy. There are times when I get really sad and miss him. We've never gone more than three days without talking in four years. I'm strong enough that I won't call him. I just hope I can get through this....
| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 11:12pm |

