Hoping for some advice...
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| Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:16am |
Here is my question:
What do you do when you have met the one for you, but due to circumstances beyond either of your control you have to break up. How do you deal with it? How and when do you decide to move on? Is it bad to still have hope?
Here's my situation: have been with a loving, affectionate, respectful, faithful, incredible man for the past couple of years. It has been a great relationship. But his job forces him to move away for the next 2 years; I'd see him maybe once or twice a month for at least half of those two years, and our phone calls would be late at night, brief, and probably not every day. (PS- I have NO DOUBT he is faithful). That's not enough contact for me, and I know we both feel a lot of pressure in our relationship because of this. We have thought of every possible way around this, including him leaving his job (which I would never, NEVER want him to do--he worked his whole life for this job and I love him too much to ask him to give up something so important to him). So we decided to break up. Neither of us doubt our love for each other, and I think we see it as breaking up now to save any relationship we might have in the future (instead of breaking up in 6 months when we are bitter and resentful).
Of course we both still want to get married, and are in love with each other. We speak a lot, mostly just about daily life, but like we were best friends. I'm not sure what is healthy to do: give each other space? (i think neither of us wants that), keep talking as friends? i'm not ready to date yet as it's only been a couple of weeks but i also dont want to find myself waiting for him. I know we made the right decision in breaking up because we both feel much more peaceful, although we are very sad. He is my ideal man in every way, and I don't want to lose an opportunity to be with him in the future. Especially because I know we both made the decision to end our relationship for the most selfless of reasons: because we did not want to hurt the other person more down the road.
I know this was long, but any advice about this would be helpful--I've been in a few relationships before but I'm only in my mid-20's and this was certainly the most serious, the most healthy, and the most loving and selfless. I want to do the right thing for him, myself, and our relationship with each other (be it romantic, friendship, or nothing).
| Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:29am |
| Thu, 09-06-2007 - 7:32am |
