How to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
How to?
2
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 9:56am

So its not a matter of when, or should I. But how, and help. Sorry if this is the wrong board, but none of the rest felt apporpraite.

And a bit of warning before hand, my spelling and grammar is horrible. I realize this and I'm sorry, I try my best.

Anyway-

So I've been dating my boyfriend David for three years. All started out well, but now more and more I've realized what an ass hole he is and how he bring down my confidence so much. He's demanding, overwhelming, and ALWAYS right. I dont mean the typical always right, but a school learned I-Can-give-a-reasonable-explaination-for-anything-that-sounds-like-a-dictionary-explaination sort of right. Nothing can be illogical, or I'm wrong. Even the trying to be cute "because I said so" sends him off on a tangent. To add to the frustration of always being wrong, he's extremely emotional. In ever aspect, and has no social grace. There's no, we'll discuss it later. It's discussed right then, and usually invovles him yelling (well, a harsh toned voice) at me. I'm not perfect, obviously. I do have an overwhelming and loud personality, but I have the understanding of when something is apporpriate and when it isn't.

Bottom line, Its over. For me at least.

He's convienced we're going to get married. He doesn't say if we get married, or hint at wanting to marry. He declares that "when" we're married. He's jealous too. Not of my guy friends. But if I dont dress the way he feels appropriate, he complains about it.

I've broken up with him once already, that's why I know there's a reason to worry. Last time I broke up with him (and if requested, I'll state what happened there.) a friend had to pick him up from infront of my house because he was crying. He would call, constantly (and since he's currently paying for my phone, I'm gonna have to work that out after break up..)..

I've made plans to stay at a friends house afterwards. But its a three year relationship. He knows where I work. Yes, Im worried about that.

How do I deal with the emotion train wreck Im about to dive into? Is there anyway to break up with him that might allow me to avoid this?

If you need more info, I'll give.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: alaskan_pixie
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 4:28pm

HI alaskan_pixie,


Well, I'm not sure if you can avoid the drama, but he his abusive verbablly and manipulative and controlling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
In reply to: alaskan_pixie
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 6:02pm

OMG! I married that guy, or at least one very like him. After marriage cute turned into emotional abuse, before I knew it I had no friends, no life and little contact with my family. He was controlling and sounds like your man. And this is the best he'll ever be, they only get worse after you marry them.

He cried and stalked and threatened suicide when I left him. The last time he called and said he was going to kill himself I called the paramedics. That ended that empty threat.
But he still stalked me and sounds to me like you may have a stalker in the making too.

Leave him, be strong and don't look back. Don't answer his calls, don't fall for his crying or other ploys to get you to pay attention to him. And be ready to get a restraining order if you have to. Family and friends are great support through this sort of situation, lean on them.

Good luck!