How Are You Dealing with NC?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
How Are You Dealing with NC?
1
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:26am
Hi all! It hasn't even been 2 months (actually 6 weeks) since my breakup and I've had no contact with my ex, but it does bother me. We use to carpool to work together and I saw him everyday, now we can't be friends or anything. We had a bad breakup and I believe we'll never speak again.

How is everyone else dealing with the no contact? Do you think you'll ever make contact again? To him? From him? Do you want contact again? Does anybody else think you'll never speak to him again?

I'm just having one of those days where I wish he'd just call to check on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 12:33pm
It's been 6 weeks since the break up for me too. Unfortunately, we work in the same building so there have been some run ins. We've agreed that we'll try and end up as friends somehow, someday and to try and keep in touch in the meantime.

Our breakup wasn't bad per se. We had a good time but he realized he wasn't over his ex-fiance and is now back with her. He obviously has no problems keeping in touch but I do. I made the mistake of sending a "how are things going for you" email a few days ago and I feel like I've set myself back a few weeks in the healing process. The past two days have been really difficult.

I do want to somehow end up as friends with this guy someday, just because things weren't bad between us at all. But until I can want nothing more than friendship from him, I think I should try not to even keep in touch. It saddens me to think that we may end up as strangers if it takes me a long time to get over my feelings for him, but I've realized that if it's something that needs to be done for me to heal, then that's just how it has to be.

I think you have to decide for yourself whether the friendship is worth keeping. You say you had a bad break up .. if he had betrayed your trust or anything like that, even a friendship is difficult to salvage. It's not surprising then that you sometimes feel like you'll never talk to him ever again. In the meantime, just focus on yourself and try and accept that whatever happens in the future will happen.