how to bow out gracefully
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| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 10:02am |
i successfully survived one day of no contact! i'm proud of myself. i know i can keep it up, after having to start over so many times. every time i wanted to pick up the phone to call him, i told myself that he is not worth it. that he is with her and they don't care about me so why should i care about them? then i dialed a friend because they don't deserve anything from me.
it was hard to get through the day yesterday. some of our co-workers came up to me today and tried to offer me some sympathy and dig for dirt, as it has started to go around that he ended our relationship to be with another co-worker. it hurts when someone says they saw them doing this and that awhile back. why didn't anyone have the guts to warn me instead of letting me get to this? why do people think they are trying to help me, but it's really hurting me more?
what can i say or do to keep my cool in these situations? i know there are lots more around the corner.

You might consider starting to look for another job for your own emotional well-being.
In the meantime, you need to try to distance yourself from this sympathy by simply cutting the person off by saying "I'm sorry, it's not something we discuss at work, please take this somewhere else." if they continue, walk away. You need to be firm about cutting the cord. My ex still goes to many of the same things I go to---my gym--where I ignore or go earlier and leave earlier. My club, where I have only now managed to stay and dance at. But for 6 weeks, I had to leave whenever I saw her. It's rough and you need to think about YOU not what other people think. Also, you might want to consider getting some professional help in managing the grief. It wouldn't hurt if you find you're still struggling. This is a very confusing time and you need to understand that you will get through it but the time it takes to get through it is largely dependent on how firm you are about NO CONTACT.
Hi ccheckers,
I gotta agree with walawala and would add...if they had warned you back then would you have believed them?