how to break up with someone at work

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
how to break up with someone at work
3
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 10:51am
I have been dating this guy on and off agian for about 3 months, and exclusively for about a month. I work with him and sometimes in close proxmity. We have been friends for about a year. But it seems like in the lastmonth he has become lukewarm towards me. Somedays he totally attentive and sweet, saying things that are sweet. Then there are times that he comletely ignores me even when I am at his place. When his family is around, especially his stepdad, he acts like he doesn't want to be around me and says demeaning things about women. Last night I tried to bring up the things that are bothering me and he called me a baby and hung up on me. Now I now I need to end this and I have determined to. My problem is how. I care about him, he was my friend and all. But how do I end it if he won't take my phone calls and won't see me outside of work. I definitely don't want to do it at work. I feel like I have become a girlfriend of convenience, he sees me when he wants to not when I want to. He only has me over when he wants sex, this is the only good thing about us. I think he says and does things only to keep me holding on a little bit longer. How do I let him down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 11:04am
Hello,

I think that when we are in love with someone it is quite difficult to see things as they really are. From my point of view he has no respect for you, and this might be because you do not show respect for yourself in the first place.

If you really want to end this relationship it does not matter where you do it. Just ask him 5 minutes if you work in the same place and tell him straight away that it is over. Stop chasing and calling him. If he does not takes your calls it means he is not interested anymore.

Iliana

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 6:45pm
Not calling him is easier said than done, I know. I'm sure that angelrain7 feels like she needs to at least hear his voice. Luckily, my x-works at a different office but the same company. I get so desperate to hear his voice at night; I call his voice mail just so I can hear his voice. Yes, I know that's pathetic but that's where I am.

My X feels that it's better for us not to talk and that in a few months I'll be over him and we can be friends then. It's killing me.

I'm not able to turn my feelings off and on like a light switch, I know it would be the best thing for me if I could but that's not me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 3:33pm
From your post it seems to me like he has ended it for you. If he isnt taking your calls, why go out of your way to "end it"? Keep your dignity and when he calls YOU (which he will, trust me) then tell him why you can't see him anyways. That he is disrespectful and you need more than what he can offer you.

THen hang up and don't talk to him. At least for a long time.