How Can This be Happening to Me?!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
How Can This be Happening to Me?!!
5
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 10:30am

Hm..maybe my story is not much different then others but one thing i realised: LOVE IS FARRYTALE FOR FOOLS! Girls can maybe act orgasms but guy can act all relationship...

We (he!) and up 2 weeks ago practically on Valentines Day which is also our anniversary. What a monster!
My story started 4 years a go. I came to seminar in his country where we met. We felt crazy in love in each other but problem was that we live on different side of Europe 2000km away. But we decided to be strong and fight. The worst time of my life started. Cuz of travelling to see him I destroyed my faculty, my parents didn’t want to give me money any more, I didn’t want to see any people and listen how relationships on distance doesn’t work…I was kicked out of apartment..i was hungry but ready to go trough all that cuz there was one bright spot: seeing him in couple of months again. That would be the happiest moment of mine life. Seeing him on airport again and bathing in love and desire. Going back home was devastating. But I knew one day we will find way how to be together although everyone was telling me that im just fooling my self and doing mistake.
But we managed! After more then 2 years I got in faculty in his country and I felt like a new born!People were congatulating me and telling me i proved love wins. Everything was like in heaven! Putting back paces of my life and getting the one I was waiting so long.Like a happy ending story..but its never said what happen after princess and prince get together..what happen after"happy ending"..

He was the most loving creature I could ever imagine guy can be! Although he was doing stupid things but I just thought guys need space so i was the cooles girlfriend ever and all his friends loved me! I thought no matter what bad thing happen in life we will always have each other. He just hugs me and kisses me and all worries go away. it was like in farrytale..Our love was bigger then Romeo and Juliet! There was no couple who loved each other more. Of course we had some problems just as everyone else but they were sooo small compared to other couples..

And then.. one day when I was planning valentines and waned to put all bed things behind ,I asked him how he see us in the future..and he said he wont out of this relationship!IMAGINE!!!he was telling me he would never hurt me! week before we were planning trip for anniversary! We were talking about getting married..he said I will be his princess forever…he was treating me like a Queen. And then..from nowhere.. he told me he was thinking about it so long and pretending all this time.How did I suppose to know? Why didn’t he told me?I asked him so many times about it he said im just paranoid!and now ee tels me he don’t wanna be with me neeever ever again!he don’t even give me 2nd chance! He said he don’t like to live with me but I told him I will move out so we try like that.but he said he can see me as a friend (“friend”) but not with boyfriend obligations.how can this be happening? One day he loved me and 2nd he don’t anymore? He said he don’t care about me no more. But how did that happen? I don’t get it ?what kind of monster would do that?why?after all I have done?he had all freedom he needed.im so confused..i don’t know how will I continue.all dreams I had included him .i don’t have nothing left.my country is not my country no more..and I love him just as a 1st day..How can i live with no hope?hope is what brought us together in 1st place..if I could just find bad moments and stick to them..but nice ones always win!Its like a war in side of me..i cant breathe..and love always win .no matter how much i try..how can he be so crule?what did he do to guy i felt in love with?not even his friends cannot belive he would do this..he never say..he never talks..but such a loving buy...needs to grow up..but why does he needs to destroy life of the person who loves him more then her self?

So now u people can see: there is no point of fighting for love! I was fighting for mine more then anyone ever would! And what did I got! Stick up my but!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 1:43pm
damn i just called him! why did i do that?!i knew i won't get anything good out of it!but i still did it!but how can guy be so sure he dont never wanna give me a chance?! how can he know?! if he say he still loves me? i dont wanna be just his friend..*/--/gfdet
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:02pm
Hi heartless and welcome to the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:20pm
The worst thing is that i first wrote that letter but then i called anyway..every day..every moment i hope he changed his mind..im now thinking maybe i should just give him a time and he will realise..i saw his tears in one moment..i know he still care..just dont know what give him such a strenght to end up forever..how can he be so sure..
He told me he was thinking about this for long time..how could i know im on some probation..but while he was "thinkin" all that time was so nice with us..he just said he was living from day to day and waiting to come out with that.
but how can he know if he didnt even try to live away.i just want some hope.hope is what keeps me going every day.but i know i should stop hoping..but how can i if one day i was his onlyone and next day he came out with this!i cannot just accept it when everything was fine..he is still so nice to me...he dont want to kick me out of his life..but i cannot suddendly just become his friend in 1 day..and he likes to cuddle me..im so lost..i dont understand..but i notice when im strong it makes him bit bit week.i think my teers and calls just makes him more sure..
i dont know..it seams to me no matter which step i take i take wrong one..
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 7:40am
new day..i told him yesterday not to come home.no matter how much my heart waned him close ..i knew it was right decision..and i tought he wont..he is the one who dont wont me so why would he..and then he came..he was smiling..he said he tought i would wont him to come..i waned it..but didnt wanna say..but why did he came?if he dont care..so i again start hoping maybe he still feel something..but maybe it is more possible he didnt had nowhere else to go..
and then this morning as usually i would stay longer in bed and he is on pc..we are talking..im asking him in joke is he watching nude girls there..he said he is doing school stuffs..but now i know why was he talking so nice to me..he was making sure i dont come to check what is he doing..i checked the history..practicaly only thing which he was doing was watching nude pics and videos!i just couldnt belive!i tought he is being nice to me cuz he cares..we sleep so often together!and im the one who wants it more then him all relationship!why does he needs this videos!this is not 1st time i saw it!i just cant belive!!!who is that guy!and now he left..what if he didnt go to school but to someone..if this how he make him self"ready"...what is going on!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 1:42pm

::what if he didnt go to school but to someone..if this how he make him self"ready"...


I don't think he's going to other girls if he spends all is time online with nude pics and porn.