How can this friend open up to me?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 12-26-2005 - 8:13pm |
I have been going out with this friend for some time now. We used to be former classmates from high school many years ago but until a couple of years ago, we met again and now we hang out you can say often but not always. When she was single, we hang out together and eve when she was dating we hang out too, sometimes even if I did not have a boyfriend or dating anyone, she still hang out with me and her boyfriend back then, so I met her bf during those hang out with my friend. I think she dated her boyfriend like 4 yrs or so.
Then like 2 yrs ago, she told me she was getting married, so since she consider me her friend already she invited me to the bachelor’s tea party at a fancy cafeteria inside a fancy hotel. Also she invited me to her wedding like 2 months after and I even was her religious witness when she had to pay her dues and being interviewed by the priest weeks before she got married. and I went to the wedding. After she got married I started to notice an odd thing in her behavior as a married woman. I don’t know if she is a modern wife or what but I happen to found her behavior quite odd for a married woman. Like one month after she got married, my friend invited me for a cup of coffee at a cafeteria, which was nothing unusual of course; even married people can hang out with friends once in a while without their husbands, right? Then time passed and my friend and I continue to hang out like friends, to go to a mall, to have a cup of coffee, things like that and nothing unusual and sometimes we even hang out with my friend’s sister who is older but is single.
But then after several hang outs with my friend with no husband included began to make me think that something was wrong in my friend’s marriage, because the outings with my friend, the husband was never present at all, in all the times I have gone out with my friend after she got married, she never has brought her husband with her for nothing, and when I have asked her where has been her husband, she only has told me twice the same thing, that he is playing tennis with his friends.
My friend’s sister has planned parties at her house (sister’s house) and invited a couple of friends and they have invited me, and guess what? My friend’s husband never attends to any outing I have gone with my friend or my friend’s sister. Even when it was my friend’s sister birthday 2 months ago, my friend invited me and a couple of friends of her, and friends of her sister to go to a restaurant in the afternoon to celebrate it; I went, the friends also went, but my friend’s husband never went. My friend has slept over in her sister’s house several times, and I believe if she was married that cannot be usual, I mean to sleep over many times in her sister’s house.
It is always like that, her husband is never present at anything my friend invites me and sometimes she say thing as she was a single lady. I mean I’m guessing and assuming she is single again for her behavior and the reason that our outings are always without husband but directly she hasn’t told me about it she is separated or divorced already. I mean I wish she can trust me and tell me she is separated or divorced, I mean I don’t question she might be, many marriages fail, but if she is supposedly my friend why she hasn’t really told me about it if she is if that is the case. She is very reserved in her private things; she does not like to talk about it much but I would like her to open up a little bit and tell me about it I won’t question her or anything, I wont judge her either, because Im not married, I don’t know if she is embarrassed to tell me and that is why she has never told me anything if she is really separated or already divorced. I don’t know how she can open up to me.
I have been meaning to ask her just like that and straight, but I haven’t done it because it could be she does not want to talk about it or is not ready to tell anything to her friends but every time I go out with her is never with her husband and also she never speaks of her husband either during friend’s conversation and it is strange that is why I assume she is separated or divorced already but I will know for sure until she tells me from her own mouth, she hasn’t done it yet. I mean good friends tell each other almost everything and this kind of things are things are never kept hidden, but she hasn’t talk about it. On the contrary, my friend do like to know and ask if other mutual friends from our high school are married, divorced, have kids or not but she never says anything about her own case. I just wish she can open up and tell me but I haven’t asked either because I don’t even know how to tactfully ask her without making an mistake or embarrassing her, that is why I haven’t done it so far and I just assume she is. I even was meaning to ask my friend’s sister, instead of my own friend, but I haven’t done it either.
