How can I stop the cravn of calln my ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2010
How can I stop the cravn of calln my ex
3
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 7:32pm
I finally made a decision to stop dealing with my Ex, He was the worst relationship I
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2009
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 11:16pm

I kinda know what you're going through although I'm over the point of wanting to call him.



Basically you need to let yourself feel that pain. It hurts and it feels like crap but no matter what song you heard on the radio, what funny thing happened to you during the day that made you want to call him to tell him...think about it, let the feeling hurt and it hurts until you find something to do to get your mind off of it.



Later it doesn't hurt as much or you don't have the feeling to want to pick up the phone. Concentrate on one day, if you can get by that day without calling him. Then the next day and the next. Eventually you'll feel so powerful that you hadn't given him the satisfaction of him 'knowing' that you're still pining over him.



The best revenge is no revenge. i.e. getting on with your life and focusing on you. As much as it feels like it sucks for the time being, it gets better. Slowly. Some days suck more than others. Like for me, today sucked. I woke up mad. I got ready for work mad. I drove to work still mad. Once I was at work I kinda forgot about it...leaving work I felt a little better, tonight I feel so much better from this morning.



When you call them, it creates more chaos and stuff to analyze. If you don't call, you can't focus on anything like 'why did he say this, why did he say that'... your focus can be spent on doing stuff that makes you feel better.



Have a break-up buddy. When you feel the urge to call, send your break up buddy a text. Mine gets random "AURRGGGGggggggh" txts. But it feels better just to get that out there and hear their "he sucks and you're amazing" reply. lol



Another trick I've done, near bedtime, when I used to talk to him the most and I used to really miss talking to him and want to call, or I'd look at my phone and see that he hadn't called, another crappy feeling. I'd take my phone, take out the battery and go and hide it somewhere in my home. That way you can forget about it for the night. It seems a bit much but it really has worked for me in the past.



If you're going out for drinks with some girlfriends, do the phone trick at home...leave your phone at home somewhere. Then you can go out and have a great night and focus on you and not wanting to call him.



A week ago, yesterday...my ex (that I should have dumped last summer) and I, well I told him we were over, for good, and that I never wanted to see or hear from him again...along with a few other choice words. He was a sweetheart to my face, but a sneaky bastard behind my back.



Anyways, hope this helps...best of luck! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:44am
Countrygal gave you some good advice.
You've got to continue to take one moment at a time and it will get easier. But also you need to allow yourself to feel that pain. It is normal and it will cycle out, but you first have to acknowledge the struggle and accept yourself.
Take control, turn off your phone at night, and just "check out" so to speak.
Go jogging or biking. Physical exertion does wonders to get the frustrations out and get the mind and spirit going in a better direction.
Importantly, take time to reach out to friends, old and new. Reconnect with people in your life.
The transformation takes time but if you put one foot in front of the other, before you know it you will be in a completely different place in life and your perspective about the past will be very clear.





Edited 9/24/2010 8:46 am ET by teatimezen
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 3:07pm

Thanks Countrygal