How Could I Ever Love Again
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| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:05pm |
The subject of marriage and the future was something we discussed for years. He wanted to marry me, raise a family with me, have a home with me. We reminisced about our future kids, their names, what schools they'd attend, paying off the mortgage, retiring together, the in-laws, you name it. It was assumed and mutual that we'd be together forever. It was discussed like it was inevitable.
Well, he suddenly had a change of heart and over the course of maybe 2 months, lost all interest in me. Our love was, I thought a true love and we'd been inseperable since we were 18 and 21 (we're now 26 and 29).
Now he's gone, no contact, nothing after all these years and I can't help thinking, how can I give my heart to someone else knowing that at any moment, they can take their love away and change their mind. When I met my ex-boyfriend, he was looking for love and determined to make me his. Our romance and how we got together was the most romantic and engaging story and he loved telling people about it. There was a time when I was the most important thing in his life and he let everyone know it. He always considered me his Mrs. and referred to me his fiance. We even went ring shopping last year and he got the info on the one I liked.
I've gone from having the greatest love of my life to nothing! Yes, he's lost the best relationship and woman he's ever had, but I lost my best friend, confidante and companion too! Now I'm suppose to go out in the world and find another guy with all the qualitites I desire (which he already posseses) and hope he never stops loving me. How can I do that?
How can I continue to believe I'll find true love, when it can be shattered so easily?

Don't be afraid to love again - it's out there for you - you just have to take the gamble.
Don't think about the future now, focus on yourself, your needs, your healing. I highly recommend therapy, it'll help u a lot, i know it does for me at least and NC. When u're healed you'll start to think about love in another way.
Take care.
I really don't know what to say...I feel like I'll never love again. No one wants to be hurt---I don't think I could survive another one. As for you--- 8 years is a long time...and my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry----it'll get better though-I promise! I'm still on my way to recovery and re-gaining my life back. However, there hasn't been one day that I haven't thought about him. I partially blame myself---even though I know that it wasn't my fault.
Basically all men suck! If men and women are so different...then how the hell are we supposed to be together? Why is it so hard!