How to deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
How to deal?
3
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:05am

I was dating a guy for a few months and started to have feelings for him. To cut a long story short, we slept together and two days later he told me that this was just a casual thing to him and he thinks that he's now to busy to see me anymore. OUCH!

I know that he treated me badly but it's now been three months and I can't seem to move on. My feelings change between hating him and wanting revenge; then wanting him to call me up and tell me he wants me back; then thinking that although he hurt me we used to be friends and I don't want to lose the friendship. I know he won't call but I can't seem to move on and I can't seem to decide what I need/want - probably because those two things are different.

I've went with the dignified approach so far- I accepted what he said and walked away without emotion. I haven't contacted him (but bump into him regularly since we work in the same building and then I feign happiness and chit-chat for a minute before pretending I need to be somewhere). Should I talk to him? but then I don't know whether to tell him he is a complete D**k or that I still want him!

The no contact, dignified approach isn't working!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: allycr
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:59am

Well, IMO you're not actually doing no contact. You are seeing him and talking to him regularly, even if it's just for a minute. I would minimize that contact (just nod hello and keep moving, don't stop to chat) and focus on accepting that he's just not interested in you the way you are in him. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you...he's just not right for you.

I think you'll find that if you minimize contact and focus on acceptance, you'll be able to move on.

And IMO there's no point in talking to him about this.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: allycr
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 12:00pm

Agree with Sheri, there's no need to stop and chit-chat.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
In reply to: allycr
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:36pm

OMG....i know that feeling!!! well you dont deserve this one night stand guy....my suggestion make yourself look better everyday...show him its not a big deal if he got that(you know sex)..."HELLO"...ofcourse sometimes we need some touching....LOL

anyways dont feel bad...this person is a obviously a user not a friend...you will find a better person than him...good luck