How do I ask for space?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2007
How do I ask for space?
4
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 9:53pm
The backstory is that my ex-bf called a few weeks ago to apologize for dumping me when he went abroad, but he did not ask to get back together. Since he's been back, I have slowly started to see and talk to him again. But I feel miserable inside... I thought I was ready for friendship, but I really am not. How can I ask for space without coming off as flaky?


Edited 4/7/2008 6:28 am ET by silverdandelion
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 10:45pm

That seems like a pretty straightforward conversation to me:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 11:54pm
Sheri, thanks for your reply. I thought about saying exactly what you suggested, but I'm afraid of letting both me and him down because this start-over friendship has been off to a good start. :( Plus, I don't want him to think I'm flaky--"You said you were fine and now you're not?" How can I rephrase the request for space? Sorry, I know it's a "duh" question, but I'm having a lot of trouble finding the right/tactful words to say.


Edited 10/12/2007 12:00 am ET by silverdandelion
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 10:02am

I don't think realizing you're not ready to be friends and acting on that makes you flaky, I think it makes you mature and self-aware.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2007
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 4:13pm
Thank you, Sheri. You're right...honesty needs to be there as the basis for friendship. I will tell him soon that I'm not ready and I need more time/space.