How do I deal with this?!?
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| Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:04pm |
I really need to get this out and need all the advice I can get. I broke up with my boyfriend at the end of May. That was the last time we saw each other. The last time we talked was June 8th. We had been together for about 8 months, but it felt like a year because we spent every day together. He was in love and I wasn't. I guess I just never felt a spark, and was always confused so I broke up with him. It was horrible, I became depressed and was always sad during the relationship. I can't really explain it, I just had this nagging feeling telling me it wasn't right.
Well, I am moving in with his cousin. They aren't very close, but all families talk, so I know it will get around to him. His cousin (my roommate) said she wouldn't mention anything. But I can tell she is snooty and likes to gossip- just like her family. So I have a feeling I am in over my head with this. I guess I am just so worried because I feel like my ex and I will never be able to move on. I broke his heart, I mean he thought I was "the one". There is so much I like about him and so much I don't. I STILL struggle with it. Sometimes I think, am I sure about this? Did I do the right thing? And I really wonder if I will ever find someone. I wonder if I will find someone who will love me as much. Who I can be close with. I feel like I have no one, because I made him my everything which was a bad idea. I never even fell in love, I hate it. I feel like I basically killed him, which I did. I filled his head up with lies and played so many games and then just dumped him.
Well the bad part is that it seems like we are still gonna be involved in each others lives, when I don't really want to be. Because I have to hear about him and what is going on with him. And I am sure it will get back to him what I am doing and what is going on with me. I really want to be friends with him someday, but I want him and I to be completely moved on, and I have a feeling that will take a while. So...what do you suggest I do to make things go smoother? My thoughts are to just not reveal very much about his and my relationship, or to talk about my dating life with her. I have a problem with opening up too much about stuff, so this will be hard!!! Since I feel like I have no one, I pretty much talk to anybody that will help :(. Bad I know, that is how I was with my ex, I think I was co-dependent in a way.
I just have these fears that he will never move on...I was his first love so I guess I don't expect him too, but I just HATE knowing I broke his heart, it is seriously the worst! I don't know why it bothers me so much but it DOES! And I fear that I will never find anyone, and that more bad things will just keep happening and that I will go back to him and it will just get worse! But at times, I feel like I do want to go back to him...this is just so hard :(
So any suggestions or advice please! And oh, I pretty much have to move in with her now, I've moved everything over there already :(

Ok, honestly you do not need to move in with her. I understand that you've already moved most of your stuff to her place, but you need to stop and rethink this.
You say you want him to be able to move on, well how is he going to be able to do that if you are living with his cousin and everything that you are doing is going to get back to him?
My honest advice is to find somewhere else to live.
~Amber~
I agree with Amber...try to find another roommate or find a place on your own.
And don't beat yourself up for breaking his heart...learn from your past mistakes and do it differently next time. And if you had doubts about being with him, then breaking up with him was the right thing to do. (If I may quote the book I'm reading now:) The longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one. Same goes for him!
Hello,
I think the only answer here is NOT to move in with his cousin.
~l
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bec74
I don't understand why Precious began a new thread declaring she was moving in with is cousin, especially since she declares she doesn't love him, broke his heart and feels bad about breaking his heart.
If you truly care that you broke his heart, then don't torture the guy by moving in with his cousin.
I agree with everyone else. Precious should find other accomodations and get on with her life, and allow him to get along with his life.
Agreed Danelady2006!
dont move in and get on with your life. If he is so devasted, why make it worse??? Let him move on. It seems mean.
~L
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bec74
Hello,
I know it was a tough decision but you will see the relief you will have moving some where else maybe with another roommate. I think you are right that you would think about him even if you do not have feelings for him anymore and he will feel bad too.
Also if what he said is true and she talks about you behind your back, you dont need that #$*@!
Good Luck, I hope you find another place soon
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bec74