how do i get my ex back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
how do i get my ex back?
11
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 1:15am

about 4 months ago, my ex-boyfriend and i became miserable around eachother. he was always irritable and annoyed with me and basically fell-out of love with me and i allowed it because i thought the relationship was near an end anyway. but then we went on our singapore/bali trip together that we've been planning for half-a-year and i realized that i wanted to salvage our relationship but i the night before our trip, i said some hurtful things to him because i was irritable.

since that day, he couldn't get what i said out of his head and basically gave up on us right after the trip. i tried to make it up to him but it was too late. we broke up and i kept on pushing myself on him anyway, asking him to come to christmas at my family's house. this gave me false hope and he never intended to salvage our relationship. instead, he had an emotional affair with a coworker and then acted on it the friday of christmas week. he was supposed to meet-up w/ me but never showed and i went to his apartment and found him half-naked with his coworker.

i was so angry and hurt because he deceived me and wasn't direct about his intentions with me. i basically told him he was the worst guy in the world and told him to never speak to me again. he wrote me an email almost a week later explaining himself and said that he should have been more direct and honest with me and that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me right now. if he's going to be in a relationship w/ me, he needs to be in love w/ me.

so now he's in a relationship w/ this former coworker and i know that she's just a replacement for me and she's just there to fill a void. the real reason why he left the relationship was because i neglected him. i became so consumed w/ my new luxury condo and worked 3 jobs that i ended up neglecting him and taking him for granted. i see my faults now and i want my ex-back.

question is, how do i get him back? we spent almost four great years together and i think he still loves me but he's not in-love with me. i'm scared that he would fall for this new girl...eventhough she's a homewrecker cuz she knew he had a g-friend and pursued him to the ends of this earth.

should i just give him space? how can i get his attention w/out looking desperate and needy? should i just carry-on w/ my life and hope for the best?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 10:31am
I do agree with points written by Belly 2004. I have experienced that on my own experience and it works. I know it is difficult to stop conversation first, how avoid topics about "us" and how nice time you had but I have done it , more over after a year since we broke up, I informed me once that I have bf. This what really makes most of ex to move their ass. And by having a bf you dont push your ex away but it works opposite. He starts to make efford to get you back or at least realize what he has lost.

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