How do I get through this Break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
How do I get through this Break up
4
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 1:27am
My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after about two years. He said he needed a break and that he was bored with the relantionship. Everything reminds me of him I cry so much. I waited til he talked to me and then I talked to him. When I try to talk to him he ignores me and only talks to me randomly when he wants to. I dont know whether I should talk to him anymore. Why is he still talking to me? Why hasnt he told me he wants to move on or whether he is seeing someone else? I try to keep busy and talk to other people. Its worse at night thats when I think of everything. I'd like to hear how others have coped with with their break ups. Thanks~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 2:02am

Welcome to the board bjk20,


Sorry you are going through this.... here's a bunch of good things to start with:


How To Get Over Your Breakup

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2006
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:52am
Hey bjk20,
I know exactly how you feel, i broke up with my fiancee of 7 years 3 months ago. I wanted to move in with him set wedding dates, things like that, he had 50 excuses. So I broke up with him thinking that he would "realize" and come begging back. Well that backfired. instead, a week later, he began dating someone else. I was devasted. we were engaged, and had been together so long and he just moved on within minutes. I couldn't eat, i lost 20 lbs, all i did was cry the first 2 months. I know it is hard. But I can honestly say you can and WILL get through it. I am getting better. The past month I decided to put my energy into me instead. I have put alot of time in my career, which has been going great, I go to the gym, I go out with friends all the time for movies, dinner, drinks ,dancing, whatever. Call on you friends your going to need them to get you through. Am I over him? No not yet. I still get alittle sad and I miss him. But I now accepted that he is in love with someone else, he moved on, he is not coming to my door to tell me what a mistake he made. Truth is, I made the mistake! I stayed far too long with someone who didn't want the same things as me. I also realized he is not with her because she is better than me, she is different. He has no pressure with her. She is not pushing marriage or anything, but one day she will and he will probably do the same to her. You WILL get through this. And you will come out a better person. But here is advice: 1. DONT CALL HIM.....at all, for anything! 2. DONT LOOK AT HIM ONLINE, CHECK EMAIL, DRIVE BY HIS HOUSE OR ANYTHING, you will only feel worse 3. REMEMBER YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON AND THERE IS SOMEONE EVEN BETTER OUT THERE RIGHT NOW WONDERING WHERE YOU ARE!
Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:21pm

I think things are prtty much covered, except.

Please, please PLEASE, do yourself a favour and block..him..off..your..IM. You've said it yourself, "When I try to talk to him he ignores me and only talks to me randomly when he wants to." How can he appreciate you or respect you if you let him walk all over you? Or you're sitting around at his beck and call.

Put it this way, maybe he's bored, because you make everything too easy. What a jerk not to appreciate it...but we want things we can't have usually..and how can he want you if he still has you without the responsibility of a relationship? now he gets to talk to you whenever HE feels like it. When he bored with you, he ignores you. When HE'S lonely he messages you and you jump up on command.

Turn off that computer, girl, and let him do some sweating.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 1:19am
Thank you so much that made me feel a little bit better. I guess I've been holding out hope and I should realize thats not going to happen for us again.