How do I leave and Stay Gone??
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:40pm |
Help! Sure we all need a little. Please, beware, I'll keep it as short as possible but I don't want to leave anything out.
I am very unhappy in the relationship that I am in. I've tried leaving many times, but my boyfriend thinks that he literally will die without me. He's jealous, insecure, over-protective, and sometimes I can't even get out of the house to go to work without him complaining. I can't saw I've done nothing to warrant some suspicion on his part, and I swear I would leave if I could- I don't know what's wrong with me.
On numerous occasions when I 've tried to leave him, he's done such ridiculous things such as: jumping out of my moving car, walking through traffic, uncontrollable hysterical crying, and actions similar to stalking. I did get a restraining order recently when I left him, but ended up calling him two days later and getting back together.
He is m whole life even though I am extremely unhappy and know we shouldn't be together. Every time I actually get up the guts to break up with him, I either give in and answer the phone or find myself alone, unable to sleep and calling him at 4 am. He lives in my apartment with me (and he doesn't have a job.) God, he's so bad for me- we fight all the time, he doesn't let me go anywhere and I've lost all my friends, but I can't get away.
Help me, please! I know I should leave (and have made many attempts) but it's so hard because I do unfortunately love him. His family gives me money and buys us stuff all the time to try and make up for his not working, and it just makes me feel guilty everytime I try to leave him.
Any advice on how to leave and stay gone when I used to having no one but him?? How can I leave and move on when I don't have anything except for him??
Help!!
Ms. L

Until you break the cycle and stop repeating the pattern, things aren't going to change.
He's manipulating you with the "jumping out of my moving car, walking through traffic, uncontrollable hysterical crying, and actions similar to stalking"
He's contolling you with the: "He's jealous, insecure, over-protective, and sometimes I can't even get out of the house to go to work without him complaining."
Consider counseling for yourself to rebuild your self-esteem and give you the strength to stay away from him.
Carrie
I agree with itwinflame, this requires much more in the way of professional intervention.
I have to agree with everyone else, although i understand what you're going through. I was in a very similar relationship a few years ago. When i left i would stay gone for a day or two and then get scared because i was alone and call him. This situation may be a bit more extreme than you realize. Because we are on the outside looking in we can say "just leave!" In my experience i realized that i wasnt without friends and family, they just weren't around because i wouldn't let them be. I knew a woman once that got a protective order against her estranged husband, he violated that and got thrown in jail, she felt bad, had it dropped and his bond lowered, early the next morning he was let out of jail and by 9:00 that morning he had killed her and himself. Unfortunately she was good at hiding the toxicity of the relationship from her friends and family.
In my opinion, you need to wake up early, gather your friends and family, and go get that protective order again.