How do I move on?
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How do I move on?
| Wed, 01-18-2006 - 12:11pm |
My ex boyfriend broke up w/ me, which I am fine w/ I know that I am so much better off w/o his lying and cheating ways. He called me on my way to work one day to tell me he "needed to talk to me later" I am not dumb, I knew the deal, so I told him I know what it was about, blah blah and we got off the phone. Just 2 days before this, we had just gotten back together after not really talking for a week and had the best Christmas weekend (we ended up having sex). Then BAM 2 days later he does't want a g/f, he needs some alone time, etc. THen he goes back to his ex wife that treated him like crap. Well my deal is that I have had NO closure w/ this guy. He doesn't know that he made me feel used, cheated and crapped on. He went on his marry way. Now he will not even give me 5 mins. to tell him how I feel and what he did to me. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I feel that if I were to say what I really wanted I'd move on 100%! If I can not get that closure from him, what do I do? Write him, texted him? I just really need to get this feeling off my chest so I can move on for good and be a better person from this experience. Any suggestions?

Hi there,
I am feeling your pain. but to be honest, I think to make yourself feel better you need to get things off of your chest, in order to move on. Who cares about his ex, he's weak and can't be alone and sooner or later she will be an ex once again. It's good that you have excepted it to be over. So, it's no longer about you and him or even him. It's about you and you have things to say, so if need be, e-mail him. Just for you, just to finally put this behind you and move forward. You seem like a strong woman already and know what you want and need, so it's just a matter of getting it out and moving forward with out him.
Good Luck,
Sandra
Oh, he knows full well how badly he treated you...why do you think he doesn't want to talk to you??? He doesn't want to deal with the guilt.
Telling him isn't really going to do any good...you almost certainly won't get an apology, and you probably won't even get a response, but I know from experience that it's hard to not want to express those feelings to him. How about trying this: write him a long letter, get it all out. Then wait *at least* a week before sending it and see if you still really feel the need. But if you do, you HAVE to be prepared for the negative effect it will cause you. You will feel better momentarily, but if he doesn't respond or he doesn't respond the way you want him to, it WILL set you back. There's no avoiding that. Be sure you are willing to accept that before you send anything.
Sheri
ITA 100% on Sheri's advice.
Lois
Here is how to move on:
1. spend more time with family and friends (Surround yourself with positive people who care)
2. go to a spa or get a massage
3. Sit on your hands when u want to call..haa..really, some of us have post it notes ALL over the house saying WHY NOT TO CALL
4. do not date yet..rebounding is not the way to heal
5. get a good break up book..
6. come here daily for affirmations and support
7. say this daily/hourly: "I am a safe I am loved"
You are worth SO MUCH MORE..goodbye to good rubbish..hello to a new life and new you..