How do I not hurt him???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
How do I not hurt him???
2
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 6:27pm
Okay, so I am 18, and I'm going out with a guy who's 27. All of my friends are disgusted, but my parents are in love with him. He is truly the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever been with... flowers, jewelry, always telling me how much he likes me etc. (which makes me super uncomfortable) The age difference is just too much, and he wants to settle down and have kids kinda soon, but I'm in college and want to wait for like 10 years. Obviously, the relationship is going nowhere even though I do think he's a great guy. Anyway... down to the point. Last night, I REALLY screwed up, and I feel terrible. I hooked up with my, same age, ex-boyfriend. He was my first love, and we have dated on and off since like 8th grade. He wants to get back together, and I do too, for like the 6th time... but that's a whole nother disfunctional subject. Anyways, how do I break up with my current boyfriend w/o really hurting him? I care about him a lot. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:32am

comawhite616...

A thought from Pianoguy:

Considering the fact that college HAS to be the most important issue in your life right now, can't you make it clear to the 27-year old that exclusivity is O-U-T? At least for now?

Mom and Dad may like the gentleman...you may like someone closer to your own age...but the most important issue is FINISHING COLLEGE!

So become a "free agent" without any exclusivity toward any particular individual. Within the next 5 years...your attitude about who to love and what the age difference is MIGHT change?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 12:10pm

What would hurt your boyfriend more?

Staying in a relationship with someone who has stronger feelings for someone other than him, or knowing the reality of his girlfriends feelings and being free to find the person who is ready to make the committment he wants in a relationship?

Yes, you have "screwed up" - you've "hooked up" with your ex while you are with someone else.

Do the right thing... no matter how you do it, your ex will probly be hurt, but you owe it to him to be honest about your feelings about your relationship with him.

mblade2006

"Just because everything is different