How do I stop beating myself up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
How do I stop beating myself up?
2
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 4:17pm
Its been a month after my boyfriend walked out on our relationship. I have many good days but bad ones too. I know this is normal and will be for quite some time yet, but how do I stop beating myself up about it? How do I stop self blaming? I know I was a good person and a great girlfriend but I keep thinking "if only I had done (or didn't do)", or maybe he didn't like this or that, or...whatever! Its only making things worse for myself. I want soooooo bad to let go and just walk away but this was really a shock--not something I was expecting and I care so deeply for this man. I know its over--I'm not living in fantasy, but how can I make this pain leave--FAST?! I'm sooo tired of thinking about him and dealing with this! Letting go is soo hard! How can I make it easier?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 5:17pm

Hi sniglet1,


You 'talk back' to those negative thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 5:43pm
I'm sorry if I'm no help, but there is nothing you can do to make it get better or heal fast. Your gonna have to go thru it, and be done with it at your pace. It's the honest truth. It's going take you some time, so be prepared. It sucks, and I know it hurts, but I promise you, when it's all over, you will look back and say to yourself, "I did it". I promise, and you don't even know me, but I can promise you that. So if you can accept that your going to hurt for some time, the pain will eventually fade away, you might be ok, but slightly. Your going have good days and bad, and there will be days and weeks when everything is good, then one minute, your reminded of him or something about him, and your crying, especially thru the PMS time, forget it. It's bad. But you will survive!!! Can I say one more time, I PROMISE YOU!!! GOOD LUCK, and pray to God. He will only allow you to suffer so much. You will grow from this. "I PROMISE"!!! LOL Take care