how do you deal

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2006
how do you deal
3
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:02pm
After three years together my boyfriend, John(or now ex) proposed to me. Shorty after we moved to florida from new york. Only about four months after we moved my mom had a stroke and also was diagnosed with cancer. So we came back to new york together. John had went back to florida a few times in between b/c he wasnt sure what to do. Finally he decided he was going to go to school in florida for firefighting. I could not go back with him because things were not to good with my mom. His school was going to be 6 months long and we said we would stay together and after he was done I would move down there. About two months into it I got plane tickets to go and visit him like he asked me to. then two weeks before i was suppose to go he tells me he can't do this kind of relationship anymore. So we broke up. recently I found out that he started dating someone 4 days after I brought my plane tickets, and are still together now. I was suppose to be there last week. I don't know how you can do that to someone. I wasted my money and time. I could have went out with other guys if I wanted to but I told myself if i'm going to do this i'm going to do it right. I jst don't understand how I can be replaced so quickly. He already hangs out with her family and she thinks they are in love. I'm trying not to think about it but its not working to well. I get sick to my stomach about it. Why is it that the person who hurt someone and lied to someone gets to be happy and the one who was hurt doesnt. It seems so unfair. I'd love any advice on how to get thru this. Or anything someone has to say
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: rajeenah
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:48pm

Welcome to the board rajeenah,


Sorry you have to go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
In reply to: rajeenah
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:51pm
There are no magic pills to take away pain. Feeling betrayed by someone we loved and trusted is probably the worst emotion anyone can face. You are going to have to allow yourself to feel the hurt and anger in your heart. The only way out is through. One of the ways I work through those feelings is exercise. I find if I walk alot, I get out the anxiety and rage that can eat me alive. You just have to hang in, try keeping as many positive thoughts as you can and believe that you will get through this eventually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
In reply to: rajeenah
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:11pm

I am going through the same thing right now...and it sucks. I was doing well until last night when a friend told me what he said to her about this new girl he is "seeing". It sucks..it hurts so much to feel so used, and replaced so suddenly like you were discarded and all the time and effort you put into the relationship was just taken for granted. I don't have any great words of wisdom, but it does help me to understand that everyone has gone through this at some point, and that there is actually someone who is right now experiencing the same thing. I guess we all just need to get angry, learn from it and keep trucking...and indulge in things we enjoy. Boys who are selfish and only care about themselves and refuse to think of how their actions affect the people who care/cared about them are just not worth it. You are better than that and someday someone will see that and treat you like you deserve.

Keep your chin up and good luck!