How do you get rid of hope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
How do you get rid of hope?
5
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:33am
How do you get rid of hope? I constantly fantasize about my fiance and I getting back together. He was confused, so that gives me hope. I want to call him and ask him, have you changed your mind? It's ridiculous! The only time I feel half way fine is when I think there is hope. I tell myself it's over, but I don't believe myself! Hope feels like it's preventing me from fully moving on. I MUST accept it's over. How can I do this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:52am

Give yourself time -it's only been 2 weeks since the breakup. Of course you are going to fantasize about your ex - that's normal. It will get better in time. It takes time to move on, and everyone has their own schedule. Try to keep busy with friends - I know you probably don't even want to leave the house, but force yourself.

Everyone on this board advised me to have no contact with my ex, and they were right. I was starting to feel better after 6 weeks of no contact, then he started calling again and I was back to square 1.

Don't call him. He knows how you feel, and hounding him now is only going to make things worse. If he wants to work things out he will let you know, although given your post it seems like that might not be the best thing for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 4:30am
Hi lakerfan, I don't think you should get rid of hope ... just ride it out.
     
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 5:28am
calling him and getting rejection made me lose hope
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:51am

him telling me that he was back with his ex and in love with her after only 2 months of dating her made me lose hope.

otherwise, you just hang on to it. contact with him will only keep hope alive. let it die. it's better that way. *sigh*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:15am

Hope is tricky because it is decieving. Your hope is tied to your feelings and not to any other logical reasoning right now. The days I have the most hope are the days I miss my ex the most.

The question you need to ask yourself before you call is, What is there left to say that hasn't been said before? And I'm sure the answer is, not much. He knows how you feel and he's just going to keep pushing you away until he gets the space he needs.

I know this is tough. It's been six weeks since my boyfriend moved out cause "He just couldn't do it anymore". Somedays hurt more than others. But I'm starting to realize there is nothing that can be said or done to change his mind. This is his decision, not mine. I don't have to respect it, like it or agree with it. But there's no point putting myself through any further heartache by keeping in contact with him.

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

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