how do you know...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
how do you know...
4
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 11:50pm
At what point to you tell yourself you could be living your life instead of waiting for this one to start? I've been in a relationship for 2 years now. THe past 11 months have been long distance. After we graduated college we knew it was going to be hard, he lives in nj and i'm in oh. He said it would take time and i said okay. But it's almost been a year now and i don't see us becoming closer (geographically) any time soon. How long can i wait before my whole life just dissappears. Should i move on and meet new people or should i sit and wait for the day that will maybe come. Should we split and risk the fact that he might find someone else or is there someone else out there for me? How do i know...i've never felt so lost before. I love him so much but...is this enough...do i deserve more...i don't know if i could ever live without him...i love him so much...but sometimes i do think i deserve better. I'm terrified because he's the only man i have ever loved...and i'm just so unsure of everything
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 11:12am

foreverwhispers...

PG thinks that once anybody has arrived at "the one year long-distance mark"....it's necessary to evaluate how the past year was spent?

If the 2 of you have made several efforts to be together during your "periods of free time"----then holding on a little longer isn't necessarily a bad idea? But if your relationship has been ONLY LONG DISTANCE....and you don't see either one of you moving closer in the foreseeable future...how can you expect things to go on indefinitely?

A relationship either progresses or it dies. Just because this man is the ONLY ONE YOU'VE BEEN WITH doesn't mean you've signed a "lifetime contract?" Give yourself a little distance for a few months (with NO COMMUNICATION)....and while you're dating men who live in your neighborhood, you'll discover if your "first love" really wants to take a few steps forward instead of just maintaining "the status quo?"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:17pm

how do you know? for my own opinion the only person could answer this question is yourself....SEEK THE TRUTH...DONT BE BLIND COZ YOUR INLOVE!! ASK YOURSELF IS THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU REALLY WANT? ARE YOU HAPPY? THIS KIND OF QUESTION WILL OPEN YOUR EYES. BALANCE THE PROS AND THE CONS....

GOOD LUCK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 10:54pm
Pianoguy,
Thanks, I guess i've spent so much time thinking about where my relationship was going to go, I never actually stopped to think how the past had been. I stopped to review the past year and i think it's helped. I'm still a little unsure about where i see us going, there are good days and bad. But throughout it all we have both tried to see one another every few months. My fear is that he is going to stay status quo for some time, longer than i would like. And in a way, i hate that, but on the other side, we are both a year out of college and we don't have our feet planted very well yet. So its hard to request that we move in together, when i know thats exactly what i want. I want what i can't have right now. Sorry for the rambeling...but i did want to thank you because your insight did help!
Thanks
foreverwhispers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Fri, 04-07-2006 - 10:58pm
jazz meeh,
i am blind because i am in love and that is why i am having such a hard time. i want what i can't have right now and this is making me unhappy, childish, yes, but being with him is what will make me happy. I don't think i would be happy with out him. We are both just a year out of college and we don't have our feet planted well yet, so it's hard to ask for whats not possible yet, i'm kind of set up for dissapointment. He is what i want, i'm just not happy now becuase we are apart and i don't know when we will be together.
foreverwhispers
ps-thank you!