How do you know when you're ready?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
How do you know when you're ready?
3
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:54am
I am a single mom w 3 terrific kids (17, 15, 9). I was in a serious relationship for 1.5 yrs with a very kind, compassionate, loving man whom I respected and loved very much. I met him on a dating website... and discovered long distance relationships are difficult. He, after processing for a while, decided that he didn't want to be a step-dad... his kids are grown and he doesn't want to start over raising a family .... obviously love does NOT conquor all, because we truly loved each other and were planning a life together. We connected on every level, but I have to respect his decision and let him go (as difficult as it is). I'm 41 and live in a relatively small city ... feeling a little ...(like my options are limited). People say I am very attractive, intelligent, and compassionate ... but I can't help but think there's no one out there (in my relatively small community) who would want to start a relationship with someone with 3 kids. I would not consider moving because my kids come first and need stability ... so internet dating is questionable. Any thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:32am
My thoughts are that there is someone out there who loves kids and would accept a relationship with you regardless. Besides...one is 17 and "on the way out" so to speak...at least in theory! lol! I am 36 and have no children and find it just as hard to find someone to date. I've done the online thing and there is more trash there than good--my last three relationships were met online but I know the long distance thing wouldn't ever work for me. I live in a larger city/area and guess what...its equally as difficult to find someone! I too keep wondering--will I ever not be single? I try to hold out hope but it gets hard at times. But back to you--I think this guys behavior/decision is more a reflection on him than on you or your children. Perhaps this was his "out" and maybe not even the true reason he chose to leave? I am jaded by convenient answers these days...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:51am
Have you tried singlemoms.com? I heard that one is great for single mothers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 1:39am

I don't have any advice...but..

Heck, Angelina Jolie found a Brad Pitt while she had a kid, and judging from your post, I don't think she has anything on you. Perhaps the man of your dreams is right in front of your nose.

good luck!

Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your