How do you let go when you have a baby??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
How do you let go when you have a baby??
3
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 7:21pm
Me and my boyfriend of three years are on the verge of breaking up. The problem is that we have a 12 month old daughter. I think I would be fine if there was no child involved. But, the thought of dealing with her all by myself is making me very sad. I can't believe that instead of waking up together, I'll be waking up to her alone. Christmas it'll be just me and her.... I think I'm really mourning the loss of our future raising her together. I'm scared and sad about having to do it by myself. It's really not how I thought it would turn out.
Any advice on coping with a breakup when a baby is involved????????
HELP!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 7:47am

doclynette..

Pianoguy can understand your sadness...even though there are NO CHILDREN in his life at the moment. To coin the phrase at the top of the page: BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO!

While the prospect of becoming a single parent can be scary...it's not IMPOSSIBLE. Many of us have had readjust our lives when the 'comfort zone of a partner' is no longer present!

This is when FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBERS and CO-WORKERS you TRUST are usually 'reaching out to help you'in some way?

Christmas (or any holiday) should be treated with the same amount of excitement whether you're alone or with a partner. It doesn't have to be 'abridged' or 'withdrawn' because a spouse or s.o. ISN'T in the picture!

Try to remember that a baby has limited vision when it comes to the absence of a Dad or a Mom. An infant responds much better to the people in his (or her) life who are capable of providing A SMILE, A LITTLE LOVE and PERSONAL HAPPINESS!

I'm sending you a pair of hugs...because you DEFINITELY need 'em right now!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:07pm

Here's some reading material to consider if though you aren't married, so don't let the title throw you off:

Co-Parenting After Divorce: How to Raise Happy, Healthy Children in Two-Home Families by Diana Shulman

The Courage to be a Single Mother by Sheila Ellison

My best to you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 2:48pm

Hi there


I'm sorry for your loss. I know this is not easy. I know you're most likely not in a place to think about something like what I'm about to say but I wanted to share it with you anyway in case it helps, if not now then maybe in the future. My parents aren't together and I didn't grow up with my dad. But my parents are friends as much as they can be and even mom and my dads wife are really friendly. We spend the holidays together and we have even been on trips together. They do this because they love me. It helps of course that they generally get along but they probably wouldn't be friends if it weren't for me. A lot of my moms coworkers and friends have been completely shocked and weirded out that they do this but my parents feel that this is important and they don't care what other people think. I just wanted to let you know about this. I cant imagine how it feels to be in your situation but I know everything gets easier with time. We are here whenever you need to vent or need advice.


One Little Ladybug