How do you not call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
How do you not call?
6
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 2:39pm
I am struggling with wanting to call my ex. I know he is never going to tell me anything i want to hear and i will end up feeling stupid, but for some reason i have no self control. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 2:58pm

Every time you feel like calling, pick up a pen instead and write him an UNSENT letter. Tell him everything you want to say on paper, when you are done, burn it. Do it as often as needed.

Make a list of things you enjoy and start doing them. Start hanging out at a different place, go somewhere new....


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 3:00pm
thank you...i am so worried about this weekend and how hard it is going to be to not call him..we always spent time together on the weekends
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 3:12pm

What else can you fill your weekend with? Family, friends, volunteer work, pampering yourself.....here's some ideas:

Rent movies, make popcorn (have a friend over to watch with you), if you have neices or nephews, have them over and watch kid movies (I'm sure their parents could use a night out)

Make cookies (with the kids or make a batch to share with your co-workers on Monday)

Take a bubble bath, go on a nature walk, swim, take up a new hobby, go to store you've been meaning to check out and just look, get a manicure/pedicure, get a massage, clean out a closet, organize your bills/invoices, move furniture, play music and dance in your living room, take a drive, look into volunteer opportunties in your neighborhood.

You can do it!


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 3:56pm

Wow this is like deja vu, I just went through this a month ago as of this last Tuesday. My ex and I spent every Friday through Sunday together, we were what I like to refer to as weekend cohabitats. No one can give you a clear cut answer on this. A few things that helped me.

I had a break up buddy who would constantly call or text me making sure I wasn't doing anything I wasn't supposed to be doing or about to do something I would regret later.

Try to fill your life with friends, it is going to suck and you are going to hate getting off the couch (or out of bed, or showered) but let them drag you out to dinner, have them come over and watch movies, go to the movies, anything as long as you have others around.

Try reading some break up books. Any time I would feel like contacting him I would pick up one of the books I bought and then realize exactly what I was saying about myself if I did call.

Hang in there, I wanted to punch everyone in the face who told me it gets easier with time, but it is true. But don't beat yourself up if you lapse. I called once, sent one text and emailed him once during our break up, but then I realized that by doing that I wasn't allowing myself to move on, so I refused to respond to his response to any of the above. You can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 4:05pm
thank you! i just need to think that if i call i am just putting myself a step backwards.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 11:33pm

There's a recent thread close to or at the top of the 2nd folder on "NC tips" or something like that...you may find some helpful tips in that (NC stands for "no contact" if you haven't figured that out yet ;-)).

Sheri