How do you split if your in love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
How do you split if your in love?
2
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 11:00am

I'm in love with someone but he's not in love me, I want to remain friends
with him but...how do you remain friends with someone when you want more than
just a friendship? just a little background we have been seeing each other for
almost 2 yrs.

when I try to break things off I can't handle not having him in my life...I'm
addicted if that makes sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 12:25pm

Welcome to the board mick1222,


When having him in your life hurts more knowing that you can't have more, you will let go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 11:57am
I understand what you are going through. When my exe and I broke up, I tried to do no contact, but he wouldn't quit contacting me. I noticed a trend. Everytime I talked to him, I got so sad. I missed him. So for my own sake, I forced a period of no contact. Yeah, he and i talk now, but i no longer get sad or miss him when that happens. i needed that no contact to get over him. He was my best friend, but having him in my life was toxic to my "move on". The friendship has been downgraded. he and I only talk occassionally, but the difference is... I'm happy. Im okay with that. Maybe he and I will be good friends someday, but I just couldn't slip into being friends right away like he wanted. It hurt too badly. So that no contact definately distanced us to apoint where we are only acquaintances. I love him being in my life, but its going to take a long time to build a friendship. I am willing to work on that friendship, but he also has to want it too. It was essential that I moved on. I went through a few weeks of missing him like crazy. It was basically was like he died to me. It hurt so badly. But like any greiving process... it gets better with time. I greived for him and then I got over it and moved on. Getting past that sadness was hard, but it can be done. So consider taking a period of no contact to get over him. If you don't, you will always long for more and it will eat away at you. Get over him first, then be his friend. Otherwise, you will hurt for much longer than if you would have taken some time for yourself. Good luck and stay strong