How do you stay strong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
How do you stay strong?
1
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 3:42pm
I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months last week. I did it because I really feel we are not the best match for each other.

We have different ways of responding to situations, I am more sensitive and he is more laid back and doesn't think things are big deals and thinks I just shouldn't be upset by whatever is upsetting me. I might get upset about something and he responds in a very nonchalant manner thinking I shouldn't feel this way...It seems like every week, we are having some sort of issue where I am not feeling like he's really understanding me or caring that I'm upset. Or I feel that he's kind of selfish and won't do things he doesn't feel like doing, even if he knows it's very important to me.

Anyway, I really miss him and have been very sad. He keeps calling and calling me wanting to see me and asking if we could work on things. As much as I would love to see him and snuggle up with him again, I know things would end up the same way. So I am trying so hard to stay strong but it's not easy. It makes me so sad each time he calls because I really do want to see him. It's just that I know these personality differences of ours can't really be "worked on," it's just who we are.

This is the second time I have broken up with him for the same reasons. Even though we get along and have fun most of the time, the same issues keep coming up. He thinks the 3rd times the charm and that we can really work on this stuff. But I know from experience that it won't be different, not for the long run.

So, I am doing what my head is telling me is right, rather than letting my crazy heart lead me astray...How am I supposed to keep this up? How do I stay strong and not feel so sad? I've never broken up with someone I still had feelings for... how do I do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 1:06pm
Welcome to the board!!! I'm sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you and your bf but at least your smart enough to realize it and strong enough to act on it. I know it's hard to end things like this but you know that deep down you'll be happier when it's all behind you. I think maybe no contact would be benifical to both of you at least until you're over one another and then maybe you can be friends later on down the line. If you plan on being friends I would call or e-mail him saying you want to be friends, just not now that you aren't ready for it but you'll contact him when you are ready. Good luck and I wish you the best!!!
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